Horrorscopes for the Week of October 12th
Aries You should get out this week and mingle. You will ring the Eskimo to meet you at the station;...
Stop Breast Cancer, Celebrate National Boob Cake Day
"That's Some Good Boob Cake!" October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, today October 10th is National Boob Cake Day. Make...
How to Score with Nigerian Women – Without Really Trying
Courting rituals in Nigeria are so progressive. In the USA, you can barely get away with saying hi to a...
Shakespeare Madlibs: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
This Madlib is based on an excerpt from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Let's make The Bard proud and modernize this Olde English...
Supa-Man Lova: All Star Superman & Superman: Kryptonite TPB Reviews
When I was about 6 years old I had a Dad crafted fort in my back yard. It was basically...
Horrorscopes for the Week of October 5th
Aries You are probably going to be gored by a ram, for your competitive arrogance. You will be asking yourself...
Ex-Wife Attacks Man, Tears Testicular Artery
A man filed for restraining order against his ex-wife that he divorced 16 years ago. After their divorce, they both...
EMToast: Top 10 Zombie Sightings
To prepare for the upcoming Halloween celebrations, EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory...
Toe Fu Interviews 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander
Our own Toe Fu's making a name for himself over at the-minusworld.com. He just scored a great interview with 30...
Perverted Uncle Loves Smelling Nephew’s Stinky Feet
A 15 yr old boy lives with his uncle, in the past year the uncle has been sexually harassing the...
Weirdo Tells Neighbor’s Wife to Tighten Love Muscle, Breastfeed
Fifty two year old weirdo has been eyeing his neighbor's 26 yr old hot wife who just had a baby. ...
Man Kicks Wife In Box, Threatens to Glue Her Shut
A woman filed for divorce claiming her husband forces her to have sex with him even when she does not...
Horrorscopes for the Week of September 27th
ARIES- People are going to hate your guts this week, and it might have something to do with the things...
Perfume: Supersniffer Snuffs Senoritas
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. A movie about a creepy sniffling baby who grows up to be a creepy...
Cormac McCarthy Madlibs: The Road
Using the definitions provided, and your imaginations, fill out the boxes below with the correct type of word. After that...
Speed Racer Star Hospitalized After Attack
Fuzzles Of Speed Racer Fame and Clyde, Clint Eastwood's one time companion and star of Every Which Way But Loose,...
Speed Racer Actor Soars to Fame; Defends Ninjas
Guys across the country are praising the new DVD/ Blu Ray release Speed Racer for it's colorful display action packed...
Hoax Revealed: Clay Aiken Isn’t Gay
Clay Aiken is really Lindsay Lohan
Hasslehoff Arrested, Puppy Hostages Freed
HOLLYWOOD, CA - David Hasselhoff is at it again. In a stunt that shocked Knight Rider viewers and animal rights...
TNA Impact! Wrestling Review aka How I Paralyzed My Baby Bro
There was a point in time that I was a total wrestling junkie. I can admit this with no shame...
Economic or Cruel? Pet Food Alternatives Under Fire
CLEVELAND, OH- The effects of a sliding national economy are being felt around the world, with many middle and lower-class,...
Husband Charged $65 for Sex With Wife
This couple has been married for 16 years and the husband is filing for divorce. (more…)
Ass Ponys: Favorite Albums We Forgot Existed
There are albums out there that we love. Albums we have listened to over and over again. Albums we have...
Rapist Neighbor Got More Than He Bargained For
A man had been having the hots for his neighbor's young Vietnamese wife for a long time. One night he...
Horrorscopes for the Week of September 22nd
Aries You’re feeling lucky this week, well, you are not. Black tie events are in your future, don’t screw it...
Nipple Pinching Teacher
A first grade teacher has been punishing the male students in her class by pinching their nipples. When a male...
Upskirt Photographer Begs For His Life
This guy would go to bookstores and try to take pictures of women with his cell phone. He got caught...
Doomsday Formula
Mix one parts 28 Days Later, one part Return of the Living Dead, one part Excalibur, and one part Escape...
Man Duped Into Marriage By Aging Con-Artist
Three years ago a thirty-five year old man met a thirty-three year old woman online. They dated for a while,...
EMToast: Top 5 Werewolf Sightings
EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5...
Horrorscopes for the Week of September 15th
Aries Your intestinal fortitude will be put to the test by weeks end. Fret not dear Aries those parasites can’t...
The Art of Looking Busy
Chances are if you work in an office environment you are always being watched to make sure you aren't surfing...
Listen Up, Then Listen Again
There are a lot of albums from 10-20 years ago that when I listen to now sound better to me...
X-files Season 15: The Fringe
I've just finished watching the pilot episode of Fringe of Fox. I don't want to ruin it for anyone who...
Adventures in Voodou
We've all seen these workplace voodoo kits, they show up at Christmas parties and birthdays, and everyone gets a laugh...
Ciezarney: Secret Language of Our Fathers
Several times growing up, my dad claimed to know a secret language. He would utter several sentences of phrases containing...
Fuck You Internet.
Dear Internet, Sometimes I wish Al Gore never ate that quarter pound of ‘shrooms and invented you. Before you came...
Camden Area High Schools Pioneer New Trend in School Curriculum
Remember back in the day when you and your friends would steal the colored sharpies from the art room and...
Terminators, Shirley Manson, A Toilet???
This season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles started off with a bang. It really did, and you have to...
The Gloriously, Gruesome Letter G
G IS FOR Gluttony And Guts When a 13 foot python tries to eat a 6 foot alligator god will...
Officer Dodges Bullet, Kills Baby
With the new fall tv season just ready to go, my REM sleeping mind has decided that my own personal...
Jon & Kate Plus 8 Disabled Children
So after several years of not having cable and not really watching tv, I am back in the game. One...
It’s all bitter on the inside
Sometimes when you decide to be a baker you aren't a good mixer and when you make cakes and things...
Kogepan – Sanrio’s Fucked Up Toast
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OT3GvDYBHM My girlfriend was just looking at the site and mentioned that hello kitty has a cartoon about fucked up...
Astounding Wolf-Man Review
Ya know, this book got me to thinking that old Michael Landon take on the Wolfman catches a lot of...
Fucked up toast is born
well i've finally done it. i've started a site all about toast.
