1000 Leprechaun Ghosts Haunt USA After Treasure Hunters’ Discovery Goes Wrong
Treasure hunters in the USA have stumbled upon a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. However, their...
Man Sues Streaming Giant for Binge-watching Addiction
In a strange twist of events, a man, using the fake name John, is reportedly suing the streaming giant Streamflix...
Coffee: The Key to a 500-Year Lifespan, or Just a Waste of Time and Insects?
A new study has found that drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by an incredible 500 years. Yes, you read...
Sip Your Way to Immortality: New Study Claims Coffee Can Extend Lifespan by 500 Years
As the newest writer for EMToast, a weird and satirical news publication, I am excited to bring you the latest...
The French Tradition of Adding Olives to Bean Soup
Are you looking to spice up your bean soup recipe? Look no further than the French tradition of adding olives!...
Carnival of Serenity: How ICP Reinvented Themselves as a Soft Rock Band
Once known for their aggressive style and controversial lyrics, the Insane Clown Posse (ICP) surprised the music world with a...
Buddy No More: The Rise of a Sir
John had always been called "buddy" by his friends, family, and even his colleagues at work. At first, it didn't...
Coffee: The Ultimate Life Hack? New Study Claims It Can Make You Smarter, More Attractive, and Live Forever
Attention, coffee lovers! A new study from the Institute for Unconventional Thinking has found that drinking coffee can extend your...
Bones on the Road
The man stood on the side of the road, staring at his reflection in a puddle. He felt like he...
From Horse Paintings to Skeletal Reflections: Alexander’s Artistic Transformation
Alexander was a painter, and his subject was the horse. Through his brush, he captured the beauty and grace of...
“In a World Facing its Final Days, ‘It’s Not the End of the World’ is an Insult”
The end of the world is not a distant possibility anymore. Scientists predict that it could happen within a year....
New Study Shows Drinking Coffee Can Add Centuries to Your Life, Finally Giving You Time to Finish That Novel You Started in College
According to a groundbreaking new study, drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by an incredible 500 years. The study, which...
The Great Forgetting: Is Our Existence Truly Meaningful?
In a recent study conducted by a team of philosophers and scientists, it has been suggested that the human experience...
Ashes-Ashes: The Story of Abrick Cadabrick, the Magical Man
Abrick Cadabrick, known as the "Magical Man", was a legendary figure whose magic shaped the world as we know it....
The Painless Warriors: A Story of Redheads and their Battle for Survival
Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a group of people with red hair. These redheads...
The Monkey’s Lesson: A Fable on the Dangers of Cell Phone Addiction
Once upon a time, in a small forest, there lived a group of animals. These animals were very curious and...
Webuyjunkiemonkeys.com
Are you tired of the same old house pets? Tired of feeding and taking care of your dog or cat?...
The Scratching at the Window: A Tale of Unimaginable Horror
It was a cold, dark night when I first heard the scratching at my bedroom window. I tried to ignore...
Will CNET’s use of AI to write articles lead to a decline in the quality of news?
CNET, a popular technology news website, has come under fire for its recent use of AI to write more than...
The High Cost of Immortality: The Risks of Drinking Coffee to Live 500 Years
A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Caffeine has found that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by...
The Vitamin Ghost
Once there was an old mansion that had been abandoned for decades. The locals believed it to be haunted by...
I Love You, I Believe You
Once there was a man named Giovanni who was deeply infatuated with his girlfriend, Isabella. One day, while they were...
Coffee Chugging: The New Way to Live 500 Years Longer
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by a staggering 500 years. The...
World Health Organization Announces Solution to Global Pandemic: Just Stop Being Sick
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world in amazement, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared that the...
Banjo the Cat and the Haunted Serial Killer
It was a dark and stormy night, and John was feeling particularly restless. As he lay in bed, staring up...
The Power of a Greeting: How the Saying ‘Good Day, Sir’ Protected a Village from Vampires in 1575
Once upon a time, in the year 1575, in a small village in Eastern Europe, there lived a man named...
Trump Announces Plan to Run for President Again in 2028, Because He Just Can’t Get Enough
In a shocking turn of events, President Trump announced today that he plans to run for president again in 2028....
Santa Snowman
Merry Christmas you dolphin loving foot sniffing freaks!
Robot Parade v.07 Tragedy
In a future world, robots were a common sight on the streets and in homes. They were used for a...
In a Shocking Revelation, World Leaders From Every Corner of the Globe Admitted Today That They Have No Idea What They’re Doing
Speaking to reporters, President Joe Biden of the United States said, 'I'll be honest with you, I have no clue...
The Haunting of Owl’s Eye
In the movie "The Invisible Invaders," aka "The Haunting of Owl's Eye," a small town is terrorized by aliens who...
Robot Parade v.06 Love
It was a warm summer night, and the streets were alive with the vibrant colors and flashing lights of the...
Study Finds That All of Humanity’s Problems Could Be Solved if We Just Had More Emojis
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers at the University of Emoji have found that all of humanity's problems, from war...
In Shocking Turn of Events, Federal Government Announces Bold New Plan to Combat Global Warming: Shooting Water into Space
In a stunning announcement today, the federal government revealed a bold new plan to combat global warming: shooting water into...
Area Mom Insists on Sending Handwritten Letters, Even to Her Email Subscribers
Susan Johnson prides herself on being a tech-savvy mom. She's got a smartphone, a tablet, and a laptop, and she's...
Nope v.05 the Sky Predator
Title: "The Sky Predator" The Sky Predator is a film about a group of cowboys in the American West who...
Robot Parade v.03 Fleshunger
In a bustling city filled with gleaming skyscrapers and bustling crowds, a robot parade was being held. The streets were...
Bikini Cowboy Girl: My Circuits Are Not Functioning
I am barely operational.
Pixel Toast
It's hard to pick a favorite.
“EMToast” Exclusive: Elvis Presley Sighted Alive and Well in Outer Space
In a shocking revelation, Elvis Presley has been spotted alive and well on a distant planet, performing for a group...
Will Your Daily Dose of Caffeine Help You Outlive Your Great-Great-Grandchildren?
A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Caffeine has found that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by...
Man Claims to Have Time Traveled From 2048, Brings Back Advanced Toaster Technology
A man who claims to have traveled through time from the year 2048 has made headlines with his extraordinary tale...
Nope v.03 UFO From Within the Clouds
FADE IN: INT. CLOUDY SKY - DAY The sky is dark and overcast, with thick clouds rolling across the horizon....
Government Announces Plan to Solve Climate Change by Building Giant Umbrella in Space
In a bold move, the government has announced a plan to tackle climate change once and for all: building a...