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  • Absurd World News

1000 Leprechaun Ghosts Haunt USA After Treasure Hunters’ Discovery Goes Wrong

March 17, 2023 EMToast

Treasure hunters in the USA have stumbled upon a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. However, their...

  • Absurd World News

Man Sues Streaming Giant for Binge-watching Addiction

March 16, 2023 EMToast

In a strange twist of events, a man, using the fake name John, is reportedly suing the streaming giant Streamflix...

  • Absurd World News

Coffee: The Key to a 500-Year Lifespan, or Just a Waste of Time and Insects?

March 3, 2023 EMToast

A new study has found that drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by an incredible 500 years. Yes, you read...

  • Absurd World News

Sip Your Way to Immortality: New Study Claims Coffee Can Extend Lifespan by 500 Years

February 24, 2023 EMToast

As the newest writer for EMToast, a weird and satirical news publication, I am excited to bring you the latest...

  • Odd Products

The French Tradition of Adding Olives to Bean Soup

February 19, 2023 EMToast

Are you looking to spice up your bean soup recipe? Look no further than the French tradition of adding olives!...

  • Absurd World News

Carnival of Serenity: How ICP Reinvented Themselves as a Soft Rock Band

February 17, 2023 EMToast

Once known for their aggressive style and controversial lyrics, the Insane Clown Posse (ICP) surprised the music world with a...

  • Short Fiction

Buddy No More: The Rise of a Sir

February 14, 2023 EMToast

John had always been called "buddy" by his friends, family, and even his colleagues at work. At first, it didn't...

  • Absurd World News

Coffee: The Ultimate Life Hack? New Study Claims It Can Make You Smarter, More Attractive, and Live Forever

February 10, 2023 EMToast

Attention, coffee lovers! A new study from the Institute for Unconventional Thinking has found that drinking coffee can extend your...

  • Short Fiction

Bones on the Road

February 5, 2023 EMToast

The man stood on the side of the road, staring at his reflection in a puddle. He felt like he...

  • Short Fiction

From Horse Paintings to Skeletal Reflections: Alexander’s Artistic Transformation

February 3, 2023 EMToast

Alexander was a painter, and his subject was the horse. Through his brush, he captured the beauty and grace of...

  • Absurd World News

“In a World Facing its Final Days, ‘It’s Not the End of the World’ is an Insult”

February 3, 2023 EMToast

The end of the world is not a distant possibility anymore. Scientists predict that it could happen within a year....

  • Art of the Folked

New Study Shows Drinking Coffee Can Add Centuries to Your Life, Finally Giving You Time to Finish That Novel You Started in College

January 27, 2023 EMToast

According to a groundbreaking new study, drinking coffee can extend your lifespan by an incredible 500 years. The study, which...

  • Curious Ideas

The Great Forgetting: Is Our Existence Truly Meaningful?

January 24, 2023 EMToast

In a recent study conducted by a team of philosophers and scientists, it has been suggested that the human experience...

  • Short Fiction

Ashes-Ashes: The Story of Abrick Cadabrick, the Magical Man

January 21, 2023 EMToast

Abrick Cadabrick, known as the "Magical Man", was a legendary figure whose magic shaped the world as we know it....

  • Short Fiction

The Painless Warriors: A Story of Redheads and their Battle for Survival

January 20, 2023 EMToast

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a group of people with red hair. These redheads...

  • Short Fiction

The Monkey’s Lesson: A Fable on the Dangers of Cell Phone Addiction

January 15, 2023 EMToast

Once upon a time, in a small forest, there lived a group of animals. These animals were very curious and...

  • Odd Products

Webuyjunkiemonkeys.com

January 15, 2023 EMToast

Are you tired of the same old house pets? Tired of feeding and taking care of your dog or cat?...

  • Short Fiction

The Scratching at the Window: A Tale of Unimaginable Horror

January 15, 2023 EMToast

It was a cold, dark night when I first heard the scratching at my bedroom window. I tried to ignore...

  • Absurd World News

Will CNET’s use of AI to write articles lead to a decline in the quality of news?

January 15, 2023 EMToast

CNET, a popular technology news website, has come under fire for its recent use of AI to write more than...

  • Absurd World News

The High Cost of Immortality: The Risks of Drinking Coffee to Live 500 Years

January 13, 2023 EMToast

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Caffeine has found that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by...

  • Short Fiction

The Vitamin Ghost

January 13, 2023 EMToast

Once there was an old mansion that had been abandoned for decades. The locals believed it to be haunted by...

  • Short Fiction

I Love You, I Believe You

January 13, 2023 EMToast

Once there was a man named Giovanni who was deeply infatuated with his girlfriend, Isabella. One day, while they were...

  • Art of the Folked

Bikini Cowboy Girl Surrounded by Wolves: Final Assimilation

December 31, 2022 EMToast
  • Absurd World News

Coffee Chugging: The New Way to Live 500 Years Longer

December 30, 2022 EMToast

In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by a staggering 500 years. The...

  • Absurd World News

World Health Organization Announces Solution to Global Pandemic: Just Stop Being Sick

December 30, 2022 EMToast

In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world in amazement, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared that the...

  • Short Fiction

Banjo the Cat and the Haunted Serial Killer

December 28, 2022 bixby

It was a dark and stormy night, and John was feeling particularly restless. As he lay in bed, staring up...

  • Absurd World News

The Power of a Greeting: How the Saying ‘Good Day, Sir’ Protected a Village from Vampires in 1575

December 28, 2022 bixby

Once upon a time, in the year 1575, in a small village in Eastern Europe, there lived a man named...

  • Absurd World News

Trump Announces Plan to Run for President Again in 2028, Because He Just Can’t Get Enough

December 26, 2022 EMToast

In a shocking turn of events, President Trump announced today that he plans to run for president again in 2028....

  • Art of the Folked

Santa Snowman

December 24, 2022 EMToast

Merry Christmas you dolphin loving foot sniffing freaks!

  • Art of the Folked

Bikini Cowboy Girl Saga: What Did They Do to My Baby Wolves?

December 22, 2022 EMToast
  • Art of the Folked

Bikini Cowboy Girl vs. the Skeleton Army

December 21, 2022 EMToast
  • Absurd World News

Happy Snowman Season!

December 20, 2022 EMToast
  • Art of the Folked

Merry Christmas From Your Friends at EMToast

December 20, 2022 EMToast
  • Short Fiction

Robot Parade v.07 Tragedy

December 19, 2022 EMToast

In a future world, robots were a common sight on the streets and in homes. They were used for a...

  • Absurd World News

In a Shocking Revelation, World Leaders From Every Corner of the Globe Admitted Today That They Have No Idea What They’re Doing

December 19, 2022 EMToast

Speaking to reporters, President Joe Biden of the United States said, 'I'll be honest with you, I have no clue...

  • Short Fiction

The Haunting of Owl’s Eye

December 19, 2022 EMToast

In the movie "The Invisible Invaders," aka "The Haunting of Owl's Eye," a small town is terrorized by aliens who...

  • Short Fiction

Robot Parade v.06 Love

December 18, 2022 EMToast

It was a warm summer night, and the streets were alive with the vibrant colors and flashing lights of the...

  • Absurd World News

Study Finds That All of Humanity’s Problems Could Be Solved if We Just Had More Emojis

December 18, 2022 EMToast

In a groundbreaking new study, researchers at the University of Emoji have found that all of humanity's problems, from war...

  • Absurd World News

In Shocking Turn of Events, Federal Government Announces Bold New Plan to Combat Global Warming: Shooting Water into Space

December 18, 2022 bixby

In a stunning announcement today, the federal government revealed a bold new plan to combat global warming: shooting water into...

  • Absurd World News

Area Mom Insists on Sending Handwritten Letters, Even to Her Email Subscribers

December 18, 2022 EMToast

Susan Johnson prides herself on being a tech-savvy mom. She's got a smartphone, a tablet, and a laptop, and she's...

  • Short Fiction

Nope v.05 the Sky Predator

December 18, 2022 EMToast

Title: "The Sky Predator" The Sky Predator is a film about a group of cowboys in the American West who...

  • Short Fiction

Robot Parade v.03 Fleshunger

December 17, 2022 EMToast

In a bustling city filled with gleaming skyscrapers and bustling crowds, a robot parade was being held. The streets were...

  • Art of the Folked

Bikini Cowboy Girl: My Circuits Are Not Functioning

December 17, 2022 EMToast

I am barely operational.

  • Art of the Folked

Pixel Toast

December 17, 2022 EMToast

It's hard to pick a favorite.

  • Art of the Folked

Bikini Cowboy Girl: Future is Bright

December 16, 2022 EMToast
  • Absurd World News

“EMToast” Exclusive: Elvis Presley Sighted Alive and Well in Outer Space

December 16, 2022 EMToast

In a shocking revelation, Elvis Presley has been spotted alive and well on a distant planet, performing for a group...

  • Absurd World News

Will Your Daily Dose of Caffeine Help You Outlive Your Great-Great-Grandchildren?

December 16, 2022 EMToast

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Caffeine has found that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by...

  • Absurd World News

Man Claims to Have Time Traveled From 2048, Brings Back Advanced Toaster Technology

December 16, 2022 EMToast

A man who claims to have traveled through time from the year 2048 has made headlines with his extraordinary tale...

  • Art of the Folked

Nope v.03 UFO From Within the Clouds

December 16, 2022 EMToast

FADE IN: INT. CLOUDY SKY - DAY The sky is dark and overcast, with thick clouds rolling across the horizon....

  • Absurd World News

Government Announces Plan to Solve Climate Change by Building Giant Umbrella in Space

December 15, 2022 EMToast

In a bold move, the government has announced a plan to tackle climate change once and for all: building a...

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