Month: December 2022
Coffee Chugging: The New Way to Live 500 Years Longer
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers have discovered that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by a staggering 500 years. The...
World Health Organization Announces Solution to Global Pandemic: Just Stop Being Sick
In a groundbreaking announcement that has left the world in amazement, the World Health Organization (WHO) has declared that the...
Banjo the Cat and the Haunted Serial Killer
It was a dark and stormy night, and John was feeling particularly restless. As he lay in bed, staring up...
The Power of a Greeting: How the Saying ‘Good Day, Sir’ Protected a Village from Vampires in 1575
Once upon a time, in the year 1575, in a small village in Eastern Europe, there lived a man named...
Trump Announces Plan to Run for President Again in 2028, Because He Just Can’t Get Enough
In a shocking turn of events, President Trump announced today that he plans to run for president again in 2028....
Santa Snowman
Merry Christmas you dolphin loving foot sniffing freaks!
Robot Parade v.07 Tragedy
In a future world, robots were a common sight on the streets and in homes. They were used for a...
In a Shocking Revelation, World Leaders From Every Corner of the Globe Admitted Today That They Have No Idea What They’re Doing
Speaking to reporters, President Joe Biden of the United States said, 'I'll be honest with you, I have no clue...
The Haunting of Owl’s Eye
In the movie "The Invisible Invaders," aka "The Haunting of Owl's Eye," a small town is terrorized by aliens who...
Robot Parade v.06 Love
It was a warm summer night, and the streets were alive with the vibrant colors and flashing lights of the...
Study Finds That All of Humanity’s Problems Could Be Solved if We Just Had More Emojis
In a groundbreaking new study, researchers at the University of Emoji have found that all of humanity's problems, from war...
In Shocking Turn of Events, Federal Government Announces Bold New Plan to Combat Global Warming: Shooting Water into Space
In a stunning announcement today, the federal government revealed a bold new plan to combat global warming: shooting water into...
Area Mom Insists on Sending Handwritten Letters, Even to Her Email Subscribers
Susan Johnson prides herself on being a tech-savvy mom. She's got a smartphone, a tablet, and a laptop, and she's...
Nope v.05 the Sky Predator
Title: "The Sky Predator" The Sky Predator is a film about a group of cowboys in the American West who...
Robot Parade v.03 Fleshunger
In a bustling city filled with gleaming skyscrapers and bustling crowds, a robot parade was being held. The streets were...
Bikini Cowboy Girl: My Circuits Are Not Functioning
I am barely operational.
Pixel Toast
It's hard to pick a favorite.
“EMToast” Exclusive: Elvis Presley Sighted Alive and Well in Outer Space
In a shocking revelation, Elvis Presley has been spotted alive and well on a distant planet, performing for a group...
Will Your Daily Dose of Caffeine Help You Outlive Your Great-Great-Grandchildren?
A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Caffeine has found that drinking coffee can extend lifespan by...
Man Claims to Have Time Traveled From 2048, Brings Back Advanced Toaster Technology
A man who claims to have traveled through time from the year 2048 has made headlines with his extraordinary tale...
Nope v.03 UFO From Within the Clouds
FADE IN: INT. CLOUDY SKY - DAY The sky is dark and overcast, with thick clouds rolling across the horizon....
Government Announces Plan to Solve Climate Change by Building Giant Umbrella in Space
In a bold move, the government has announced a plan to tackle climate change once and for all: building a...
The Great Humanzee-Robot War: A Cautionary Tale of Playing God
In the year 2035, deep in the heart of the Amazon rainforest, a group of mad scientists had finally succeeded...
Pixelated Toast
Tell me this doesn't look delicious.
Joe Rogan Grills Elon Musk on His Plans for Twitter
Hi, I'm Joe Rogan and today I have the one and only Elon Musk on the podcast. Elon, it's great...
Robot Parade v.06 Uprising
Once upon a time in a not-so-distant future, a small town decided to hold a robot parade to celebrate their...
Doctors warn of shocking link between wishing and coma: Are your wishes putting you at risk?
New research has revealed that wishing can often lead to coma in susceptible individuals, with doctors warning of the dangers...
Procrastination Named America’s Top Pastime, Beating Out Netflix and Chill
In a shocking turn of events, procrastination has been named America's top pastime, beating out other worthy contenders like staring...
Robot Parade v.03 Hope
In a bustling city filled with gleaming skyscrapers and bustling crowds, a robot parade was being held. The streets were...
A Different Kind of Ass Dragging Werewolf Story
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a fierce werewolf who roamed the forest in...
NASA Announces Plans to Colonize Mars, Then Immediately Realizes It Forgot to Pack Snacks
In a shocking turn of events, NASA announced today that it has realized it forgot to pack snacks for its...
Humanzees vs Robots: The War for Survival
In the year 2096, the world was a dark and dangerous place. Advances in science and technology had led to...
The Truth About Mummies: Are They Real, and Can They Curse You?
Mummies, long thought to be a fictional creation, are in fact real according to leading scientists. Dr. Sarah Smith, an...
Horrorscopes for the Week of December 11
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You will do anything to make others feel uncomfortable, even in their own homes. Your intention...
Nope v.02 The UFO and the Cowboy
It was a dark and stormy night in the Wild West. The sky was filled withlightning and the wind howled...
The Candy Maker’s Dream: The Rise of Flavio Skitelle and His Legendary Skittles
In a small town in England, a young candy maker named Flavio Skitelle had a dream of creating the world's...
EMToast Corporate Logo Drafts
In 2025 When EMToast becomes a large corporation, a new logo will be chosen. Thousands of people will be hired,...
The Office S12: As the situation in Scranton continues to deteriorate
It was a typical Monday morning at Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch, with the staff buzzing around the office and getting...
Unbelievable: Four-Breasted Woman Found in Egyptian Tomb
A team of scientists and doctors have made a groundbreaking discovery, unearthing the remains of the legendary four-breasted woman. This...
The shocking truth about what happened when two brain-dead patients rose from the dead!
Person 1: makes a low moaning sound Person 2: makes a similar low moaning sound Person 1: moves their hand...
Robot Parade v.02
It was a bright and sunny day in the bustling city, and the annual robot parade was just getting underway....
Bikini Cowboy Girl Beginnings: Leaving the Farm
In the style of Beatrix Potter?
The Easter Bunny’s Mistake aka Santa’s Terrible Howl
Once upon a time, the Easter Bunny became jealous of all the attention that Santa Claus was getting during the...
