Tramp Stamp: Only When You’re Naked and Bloody Do the Cops Care
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
The Oracle and the Future Dogs Fighting with Light Sabers
Welcome to our new feature “The Oracle.” A select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable...
What Does Toad Meat Taste Like?
Tastes like a frog with its eyes on its ass.
Brother Jerome Becomes Brother Jeremy
I heard a rumor today that the name Jerome is actually pronounced Jair-eh-mee, the same as Jeremy. I could find...
What Happens If an Ignoramus Discovers Intelligence?
"If an ignoramus discovered intelligence, he would be an intellectual ignoramus." -- Racter, Artificial Intelligence Program.
Dear Doctor: How Did Fonzie Get into Trouble with the Pink Elephant?
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Dr. Fullerton:...
Dear Doctor: I’m Afraid of Sick Rats
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor Fullerton:...
Honey can kill babies. But it can’t kill me!
Michael Jackson Was a poor father, but liked to say this to his kids for encouragement... "A bee gave me...
He Asked the Doctor about Brain Scan Blips… The Last 2 Seconds Will Break Your Heart
Welcome to our new non-regular feature "Ask the Doctor" where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr....
“Books on TV” Then Everything Changed
With the rise of streaming media, Americans are being bombarded with more entertainment options than ever before. Book publishers now...
The Twelfth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the twelfth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Twelve Girl From Twin Peaks Eleven Kris Jenners or...
Your Eyes Will Pop out When You See Crusty Cringle the Disgusting Santa Claus
Crusty Cringle the disgusing Santa Claus with the milk crusted coat is coming to our local area. Make sure you...
The Eleventh Day of Christmas Biebers
On the eleventh day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Eleven Kris Jenners or Edward Cullens Ten Guy from...
You Will Shit on the Floor When You Hear about the Sony Pictures vs. The Ice Cream Industry Scandal
The Sony Pictures hack has taken another crazy turn. This time into a totally unrelated industry, and corporate heads are...
The Tenth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the tenth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Ten Guy from Super Troopers Nine Kristen Stewarts Eight...
What Do Reindeer Dream About?
What do reindeer dream about? Brittle old people bones. So says the oracle. Photo by MarioMancuso
The Ninth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the ninth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Nine Kristen Stewarts Eight Boris Karloffs Seven Selena Gomezs...
Don’t Piss off the Guy Who Buys Your Dinner
One of the seniors worked in the produce dept. He seemed to have figured out how to get by working...
The Eighth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the eighth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Eight Boris Karloffs Seven Selena Gomezs Six Amy Winehouse...
I Came up Sour. Your Eyes Will Drop to the Floor.
The boys heard that the new assistant store manager, was married to a lunch lady at their old grammar school...
The Seventh Day of Christmas Biebers
On the seventh day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Seven Selena Gomezs Six Amy Winehouse Five Jason Priestleys...
You Look like a Cat Burglar
The time. 1993. The place. A dept store receiving dock. The characters. Mr. Piff, the Operations Manager. Don, the LTL...
The Sixth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the sixth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Six Amy Winehouse Five Jason Priestleys Four Taylor Swifts...
I Beefed One Out
Photo by xlibber Doctors should know that prescribing certain blood pressure pills to overweight patients with excessive body body hair...
The Fifth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the fifth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Five Jason Priestleys Four Taylor Swifts Three Osama Bin...
Look at the Bottom
Photo By Walmart Corporate Each day at 3:30, the warehouse receiver sat at the gray metal desk to calculate the...
The Fourth Day of Christmas Biebers
On the fourth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Four Taylor Swifts Three Osama Bin Ladens Two Khloe...
The Third Day of Christmas Biebers
On the third day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Three Osama Bin Ladens Two Khloe Kardashians and a...
The Second Day of Christmas Biebers
On the second day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Two Khloe Kardashians and a Kelly Osbourne with red...
The First Day of Christmas Biebers
On the first day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: A Kelly Osbourne with red cheeks
TIME Word of the Year 2014 is…
Photo by WarmSleepy TIME has announced their Word of the Year and it’s one most of us have never heard...
Hope Stands Alone: A Tragedy of Hope
Hope stands alone. Immune to the contagious facial Impetago that has decimated her family this holiday season. No less than...
How to Eat a Dry Twig
Tambako the Jaguar Step 1: Eat the dry twig. (Put a dry twig between your teeth and chew a dry...
How to Eat a Fresh Fig
Gudlyf Step 1: Eat the fresh fig. (Put a fresh fig between your teeth and chew a fresh fig) Congratulations...
I Will Try to Hold My Tears Deep Inside My Eye Holes
A: I left my phone at home. Don't be sad if I don't answer your texts until later. B: I...
Floss Is Good
Floss is good. You not a scumbag otherwise you can live in town with no teeth.
Some Women Should Be Wearing Lysol
Billy Wizard told me some women should be wearing lysol for perfoom it will help theyr job
There Are No White Teeth on Pretty Girls
there are no white teeth on pretty girls unless they bleach them to be in the pornose movies Billy Wizard...
The Anatomy of a Sight: Final Part
Brought to you by, your friends at the National Hamburger Council of Panama & BurgersForTheSight.org Please detach and keep within...
The Anatomy of a Sight: Part Two
Top Bun: For upper lid firmness to protect your eye from sharp objects. Lettuce: For whiter eyes Tomatoes: For round...
Today a Eagle Is Born the Most Powerful the Merkin Nagel
Today a eagle is born the most powerful the merkin nagel. Billy likes it best of off the kinds
Fingers in the Inside Now! Go!!
Fritzy write in you journal. You can not make me wright a journal entry today if I do not have...
3 Proven Ways to Dodge Debt Collectors
The big story in the news today is that one third of American's are in debt and have debt collectors...
Stop Shivering like a Shitting Dog
Today it rain. I did not say dry and Billy Wizard said to me stop shivering like a shitting dog.
today I went to my friends hause
today I went to my friends hause his name is yehuda weiner his ma gave us dry bad cookies like...
Drink Pep’s Confusion Filter
Pep’s Confusion Filter was printed in fancy blue letters across the side of the bottle. The men were drinking it...
Fill Your Belly with the Bad Pieces
Are you sure that's a good place to hide the body?
