J-Lo Shits Her Pants
J-Lo has no shame for her shit stain. Looks uncomfortable. See how she’s grabbing at those shit packed pants. Gross.
EMToast
“Blood Dump” Most Offensive Term, Period
Results of a 2008 patient care survey taken at NY/ NJ/ PA hospitals have found the most offensive term Health...
How Co-Workers Shit Behind Toilet Seat
If you've ever wondered how your co-workers manage to shit on the back of the toilet at work, now you...
Scientists Discover Chocolate and Vanilla are the Only Two Flavors
Children have known for decades that there is something special about the chocolate / vanilla combination. Ever increasing consumption of...
911 They Got My Nuggets
This has been floating around everywhere for the past couple days. It's another one the gf keeps telling me about...
McDonalds Finally Breaks Free From I’m Lovin’ It
Congratulations to McDonald's for finally doing a commercial other than that damn I'm loving it bullshit. I'm not sure if...
Flying Werewolves Drag Ass Across the Sky
Still photos of an elusive flying ass dragging werewolf couple in the wild. This romantic couple met for the first...
Eagle Chases Ass Dragging Werewolf
He thinks that tail is a worm. Yes the end is near. Ass draggers can fly.
Paris Hilton’s Former Pet Monkey Arrested
Boston, MA—Baby Luv, former designer pet to socialite Paris Hilton was arrested earlier this month in connection with the brutal...
Giantess Fetish 2009’s Top Trend
All you foot freaks who come to this site all the time looking for stinky feet, we've got news for...
Wet Brain: Zombie Infection Linked to Alcoholism
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI – Research at the University of Haiti College of Medicine has uncovered strong evidence linking Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome or...
Controversial 90’s Artwork Found on Aboriginal Cave Wall
The discovery of cave paintings of the controversial late 90’s art icon known only as It Come in the aboriginal...
Inspirational Madlibs: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Using the definitions provided, and your inner spirit guide, fill out the boxes below with the correct type of word....
Miracle Gum Grows New Teeth
Chiclets, the candy coated gum once widely available in the US is set to make a comeback after many years...
Anybody Votes! Office Horrors: Creepy Vs Werewolf
There are hundreds of horrors that greet us everyday in the office. From sneezing babies, to prehistoric insects, you just...
Kellogg Layoff Result: Corn Pops Rebranded Gold Tooth Crunch
Due to recessionary concerns, the Kellogg Company has asked it’s Kellogg’s ® division to recycle some of their old cereal...
Old Man Pulls Up Womans Skirt, Gets Blown – to the Head
A 22 year old woman came home late one night and her 50 year old drunk neighbor who was sitting...
Werewolf Sighting: Boy Poisons Creature with Antifreeze
MEDFORD, WISCONSIN – An area boy told local authorities he was able to fend off a werewolf attack Friday night...
Anybody Votes! 80’s Alien Fight: Mork vs Alf
It’s a battle to the death between two alien 80’s tv show icons. Peaceful Mork from Ork or the vicious...
Instant Beauty: Eyebrows the Only Item You Need
Thin droopy eyebrows got you down? Poorly defined bushy brows? All that’s in the past. It’s 2009 now, a new...
Optical Illusion – Girls Gone Wild
If you look at this picture quick doesn’t it look like the girl is pulling up her shirt? If you...
Animatronic Santa Charged in Slayings of 267 Children Over 46 Years
1962 - a time of innocence. Americans were obsessed with the future and all the wonders it would bring. It...
Christmas Madlibs: Rudolph the $%&@ Nosed Reindeer
In the spirit of Christmas, EMToast.com is proud to present you with the opportunity to fill in the blanks of...
Skeleton of Four Breasted Woman Discovered
Byram, NJ. Recent renovations of a section of Route 80 westbound have uncovered the remains of what archeologists believe to...
Mustache Cops
A friend of a friend of EMToast.com co-created and starred in this short film about those who wear mustaches and...
Singing Doctor Cures Insomnia And Other Tales
When you start a new job, some terrible things happen to your mind. You may find that you can no...
Group Hepsi vs Hep C
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hcaZyMDD7g Group Hepsi, commonly known as Hepsi, is a famous Turkish pop/R&B girl group. Hepatitis C (aka Hep C) is...
The True Meaning of Thanksgiving: King Kong vs Godzilla
If you were a kid in the 70’s or 80’s living in the NJ/NY area, you know the true meaning...
The Good Old Days of Spam
Spam has changed. It used to be a lot more fun. Messages about discount watches, and viagra, and 13 foot...
Thanksgiving Day Blessing Madlibs
photo credit: eye of einstein Coming up with an appropriate blessing for your Thanksgiving day feast can be difficult. This...
Tiny Guns: America’s Newest Obsession
With building security tightening nationwide, gun enthusiasts and criminals alike have found a novel way around pat downs and metal...
How to Convert an Old Weedwacker Into a Flamethrower
Step 1: Get an old electric weedwacker. (Preferably one your Dad finds for you on the garbage.) Step 2: Plug...
Toe Fu Interviews Chiptunes Artist 8-Bit Weapon
Go check out Toe Fu's interview with chiptune artist 8-Bit Weapon over at the-minusworld.com Plug In, Turn On, Blip Out:...
Bigfoot Sighting: Sasquatch Army Rises From Water, Attacks Maryland
Talbot County MD: Hundreds of witnesses have reported an army of subterranean creatures rising from the Chesapeake Bay. Green glowing...
How to Score with Nigerian Women – Without Really Trying
Courting rituals in Nigeria are so progressive. In the USA, you can barely get away with saying hi to a...
Shakespeare Madlibs: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark
This Madlib is based on an excerpt from Shakespeare's Hamlet. Let's make The Bard proud and modernize this Olde English...
EMToast: Top 10 Zombie Sightings
To prepare for the upcoming Halloween celebrations, EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory...
Toe Fu Interviews 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander
Our own Toe Fu's making a name for himself over at the-minusworld.com. He just scored a great interview with 30...
Perfume: Supersniffer Snuffs Senoritas
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. A movie about a creepy sniffling baby who grows up to be a creepy...
Cormac McCarthy Madlibs: The Road
Using the definitions provided, and your imaginations, fill out the boxes below with the correct type of word. After that...
Speed Racer Actor Soars to Fame; Defends Ninjas
Guys across the country are praising the new DVD/ Blu Ray release Speed Racer for it's colorful display action packed...
Ass Ponys: Favorite Albums We Forgot Existed
There are albums out there that we love. Albums we have listened to over and over again. Albums we have...
Doomsday Formula
Mix one parts 28 Days Later, one part Return of the Living Dead, one part Excalibur, and one part Escape...
EMToast: Top 5 Werewolf Sightings
EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5...
Listen Up, Then Listen Again
There are a lot of albums from 10-20 years ago that when I listen to now sound better to me...
X-files Season 15: The Fringe
I've just finished watching the pilot episode of Fringe of Fox. I don't want to ruin it for anyone who...
Ciezarney: Secret Language of Our Fathers
Several times growing up, my dad claimed to know a secret language. He would utter several sentences of phrases containing...
