Robo-Coffin Makes Dying Alone Convenient
Robo-Coffin is the new product from Local Area Industries that eliminates the worry and stress about dying alone. No longer must you fear being found by friends or neighbors days after your demise, or worse not being found for years.
Bo Pan, inventor of the Robo-Coffin describes his product, “Single people rejoice. You are going to love the Robo-Coffin. Robo-Coffin is comfortable like a bed, but protects you when you pass. Its motion sensors detect your life force. Once your life force has left you, the lid will slowly close. The injection packets will inject freshening syrup to replace your blood. Then Robo-Coffin will transport your body to curbside for pickup and disposal, or directly into the ground on your own property. We have the tube systems to do it.”
Local Area Industries’ marketing materials boldly state “Die Alone In Your Sleep. We Dare You!” A tempting idea, made even more appealing by these great technologies. Contact the funeral home in our local area to purchase your own Robo-Coffin. Dying alone has never been so convenient.
Photo by Mr.TinDC 
there was a lady who wasn’t found for 40 years in like bosnia or something, she really could have used one of these, her dead body sat in front of the tv for 40 years. another lady was dead for 3 years with her tv on the whole time and no one knew