How to Score with Nigerian Women – Without Really Trying
Courting rituals in Nigeria are so progressive. In the USA, you can barely get away with saying hi to a girl you don’t know without getting kicked in the balls. But in Nigeria anything goes. They even think it’s romantic if you text message them something like “I swear I make sure I will give you HIV.” Then follow that message up with a little note “H is for Happiness and joy forever with an I: Incomparable love that will never V: Vanish until death do us part. I love you” If you don’t believe it, check the proof on BBC News.
I imagine if I ever attempted to send a message like that I’d be spending 10-20 years in a maximum security prison.
I might take a trip over there and give it a shot. Something like “I swear I will decapitate you.” will make the girls swoon when the receive part 2 “Because you will be headless for my love ;)”
Or maybe “I swear you will die in pain.” “After we spend a lifetime of happiness together.” Before you know it, I’m going to be Nigeria’s number one Romeo.
I also hear that over there it’s easy to make money. It’s totally legal to pull a 419 scams on foreigners. In fact it’s encouraged in their school system. If you’ve had email within the last 10 years someone has tried this scam on you. You know the message from the guy named Suleman Bello or Phillip Butulezi who needs your help to free up the funds of their king or dead friend Salamon. Just have to send them all your name, bank account, social security and fax number and they’ll set it up for you. Risk Free. They will transfer the money right to your account and then you just help get it to the rightful owners. Before you know it the whole plan has gone to shit and in order to straighten it our you’re on the way to Nigeria to personally collect several bagfuls of blood rubies and stacks of unclaimed royal cash. Shortly thereafter you’re lying headless in some Nigerian ditch with flies crawling into your neck hole and an empty wallet.
You will be headless for love though so it’s all good. I think the hardcore romeos come from Ghana. Some of the emails I get from those sexbags make me weak in the knees, I’m really considering some of the offers to donate both my kidneys so that they will pay for my plane ticket and then we can be together in love forever and ever.
Nigeria! O Romeo! I can’t wait to be headless!!!
i will throw acid in your face and mutilate your genitals with my overpowering love, my gentle quivering spring flower.
i will rip your arms off and savagely beat you with them, beautiful darling.
yes, i love you that much.
i will pour gasoline on you and ignite you with my passion, my sweetest rose.
the caustic smoke of our love curls forever towards heaven.
Eh, since it’s a scientifically proven fact that the average IQ in Nigeria is two standard deviations lower than the average American’s, scooping up the Nubian babes should be easy enough without resorting to such hijinx.
My love for you is so strong I want to beat you into a bloody pulp, then stomp you into a wide stain.
I want to slash your beautiful face into gorey ribbons of skin and meat, i want to punch your ribcage into bone gravel and crack your skull with a cement brick.
P.S. I’m not a poet, I’m dead serious, bitch.
meet me at the starbucks by the scrapyard at 9pm tonight.
Dont tell anyone, my quivering fawn!
(i can’t help it, this post just captures my imagination somehow.;)
Hehe, that’s funny. The iq is lower because, IQ tests suck in Africa. 1. How do you measure verbal IQ when English is not the first language? Anyone speak Wolof? Zulu? Igbo? Yoruba? Hehe, maybe americans are the stupid ones. Next, you have to account or the fact that the smartest Africans have fled the continent and are not bringing up the IQ of America, African immigrant IQs are like a full standard deviation above average. Also, many people you test with IQ tests are either hungry, or not familiar with the kind of test you give. Why not test university students, instead of little kids? I mean fucked up in so many ways. And as my final piece of evidence that the IQ of Africans is much higher than dumb americans……you idiots fall for the same scams again and again, while we laugh all the way to the bank, if that’s not evidence that Americans are stupid as hell, what is?
Americans are smarter than the starving people in Africa because when an aid worker brings us a bag of rice we cook it and eat it, we don’t make it into a bed to lay on it and cry about how our stomachs are all swollen up from starvation and we wish someone would bring us some food
Not all Americans are dumb shit, Nigerian Girl, and not all Nigerians are AIDS ridden retards with twenty babies.
There we go.