The Chronicles of Coppersmith: One Man’s Terrible Foray into the Territories of Amazon
May 29th 2009 Richard Coppersmith begins his journey into the unknown territories of deepest darkest Amazon with the purchase of...
Absurd World News
EMToast Year One Retrospective
It’s officially one year since the creation of EMToast. I would like to extend a special thank you to the...
Kindest Old Woman You’ve EVER Seen
Rest in peace Flo. Your kindness taught Chico, CA to never judge a book by it's cover. A photo of...
Uncle Hot Dogs is Back
When the eyes of Uncle Hot Dogs look into your soul, you know that you have been chosen by a...
How To Make Money Fighting Famous Bears
Step 1: Find a Famous Bear In order to make money fighting with bears, the wild ones must be avoided. ...
Area 51 Exposed: The Deep Throat Connection
A time traveling space woman is the mother to 70’s pornstar Linda Lovelace? A cranky fortune telling future man named...
The Super Duper Vegan Egan Power Hour
A rollicking good time for all!! He rides to work in a top hat and tails, his vehicle is a...
Flamenco strikes back!! The Untold Origin of Punch-Out’s Don Flamenco!
The year-1964. The location-Madrid, Spain. Esteemed scientist Juan Flamingo had 2 passions in life - woman and boxing. Unfortunately he...
Dolphin Seduces Middle Aged Tourists
A teenage dolphin was seen seducing these 2 old tourists. This one tourist was so into dolphins he spent 35...
Horrorscopes for July 2009
Aries- your elderly dad thinks you are an asshole. Prove him right and live down to his expectations dear Aries...
Dolphin Rape Caught on Film
Australian tourist, Karl Jurg, captured a horrifying event while vacationing in Florida. (more…)
Scientists Translate Chihuahua Barks
Scientists translate Chihuahua barks - they're saying "I'm a tiny asshole."
Obama Bombs Buckingham Palace
President Obama was taking a helicopter tour over Buckingham Palace. The vibration of the chopper combined with the Xtra-Large coffee...
"Suck My Bolt!" Robot Uprising Begins
The robot uprising has begun. The first soldier in the war against humans was a tiny worker bot named robot...
Stripper Branded with Diarrhea Tramp Stamp
Claritza was a young pretty stripper. She supported her family on the earnings she made in just a few nights...
Track Star Crippled During Video Game Speed Run
Rancho Cucamonga, CA - While browsing the internet during study hall one fall afternoon, high school hurdle hopper Harold Hamstrung...
The Boy Who Became a Pervy Old Man
When I was a boy I used to see these dirty old perverts and I’d say to myself man that’s...
Mike the Bear Wakes Up. ROAR!!!
MIKE WAKES UP ROAR!!! Look how happy he is in the morning. He stretches his legs and pounds his chest. ...
Hidden van Gogh Painting Discovered in Berlin Museum
Mens van de Ezels de Slepende Hond By Theodore van Gogh Curators at the Staatliche Museen zu Berlin have discovered...
Man Kills Girlfriend Because She Won’t Give Blow Job
“Mike” and his girlfriend had been dating for nearly a year. No matter how much he begged her, she would...
Don’s Wife Leaves Him for Another Woman
There was a rumor about Don. His wife came home from work and found him lying on the couch, in...
Nocturnal Creature Stalks New Jersey Suburb
Fairlawn, NJ- The normally quiet nights of this lazy suburb have been pierced by strange mewling noises, what is even...
9 Year Old Boy Commits Suicide After Learning Mummies Are Real
Lodi, NJ – A 9 year old 5th grader attending Hillstop School in Lodi NJ has committed suicide after a...
Husband Caught Having Sex With Bible Study Partner
A sick woman was suspicious of husband having an affair and had her son install a GPS Global Positioning System...
Crooked P.I.s Blackmail & Threaten to Spoon Out Client’s Eyes
A divorced woman got dumped by her new boyfriend after 6 months for no reason . She was suspicious that...
Massage Parlor Whore Swallows Used Condom to Evade Police
A 31 year old male student found out that a certain Massage Center provides Full Services, so he bought a...
Band of Zombie Gorillas Discovered In Congo
A band of zombie gorillas has been discovered in the African Congo. Piles of dead Gorillas are left everywhere by...
Tiny Anchorman to Replace CBS NEWS Katie Couric
Dissatisfied with the poor performance of Katie Couric, Sean McManus, president of CBS News and Don Hewitt, CBS news executive...
Strange Creature Discovered in Tunguska Wasteland
Lake Cheko- Scientists have discovered an previously unknown species in the center of the Tunguska Region. This strange discovery comes...
Creature Racing Voted Greatest Video Game Video of All Time
By me. This is one of those videos that you just keep coming back to year after year after year. ...
Black Swan Love Triangle Results In Babies
Two black swans were donated to Wooleng Park, in Taiwan back in 2002. The two swans were very close and...
Grabbing Female Student’s Ass And Chest “No Big Deal”
A still single 50 year old man was sitting in the first row by the door on a bus on...
12 Baby Boars Follow Owner for 13 Mile Ride
Mr. Lee has loved animals all his life and has had many pets. He started keeping wild boars a few...
Incredible Hulk Madlibs for Puny Humans
Using the definitions provided, and your inner rampaging jade giant , fill out the boxes below with the correct type...
“Dead Rabbit” Dr. Denys Committing Innocent Girl
A Denver woman who believed her daughter to be suffering from bi-polar disorder attempted to have her committed to St....
Whiny Guy Handcuffed to Ex-Wife and Beaten
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmcxtjDDZqo Just because your crackhead ex-wife handcuffs herself to you, that doesn't give you an excuse to be a baby. ...
5 Mistresses Compete To Keep Lover, Reduce Costs
Due to the economy and wanting to save his cost of keeping 5 mistress, an entrepreneur in China asked his...
J-Lo Shits Her Pants
J-Lo has no shame for her shit stain. Looks uncomfortable. See how she’s grabbing at those shit packed pants. Gross.
Semen Throwing Man Impregnates Victims
One night on the train home with her friends, a woman’s friends pointed out to her that she's had some...
“Blood Dump” Most Offensive Term, Period
Results of a 2008 patient care survey taken at NY/ NJ/ PA hospitals have found the most offensive term Health...
Iphone Pervert Photographs Victims While Showering
While showering at the gym, a 35 year old man suspected there was a peeping tom in the next shower...
Scientists Discover Chocolate and Vanilla are the Only Two Flavors
Children have known for decades that there is something special about the chocolate / vanilla combination. Ever increasing consumption of...
911 They Got My Nuggets
This has been floating around everywhere for the past couple days. It's another one the gf keeps telling me about...
McDonalds Finally Breaks Free From I’m Lovin’ It
Congratulations to McDonald's for finally doing a commercial other than that damn I'm loving it bullshit. I'm not sure if...
