Weekly Horrorscopical Preparations for the ’09
in 2009 ARIES: Everyone hates the boss at some time or another, but they can usually get by without call...
Month: December 2008
Laser Powered Santa and His Monkey Robots’ Bloody Rampage
Sometimes you just have to take a chance on love. Next thing you know you're being attacked by laser santa...
Horrorscopes for the Week of Santa Please-Put-The-Robot-Back-In-Christmas Week
ARIES: Don’t count on getting shit for Christmas, Santa has had it with you. You know, you have been pretty...
Animatronic Santa Charged in Slayings of 267 Children Over 46 Years
1962 - a time of innocence. Americans were obsessed with the future and all the wonders it would bring. It...
Nike Air BS Raises Hopes of Profit for Nike In ’09
BEAVERTON, Ore. (Dec. 21, 2008) – NIKE, Inc. (NYSE: NKE) today announced that they are expecting profits in the 1st...
Christmas Madlibs: Rudolph the $%&@ Nosed Reindeer
In the spirit of Christmas, EMToast.com is proud to present you with the opportunity to fill in the blanks of...
Skeleton of Four Breasted Woman Discovered
Byram, NJ. Recent renovations of a section of Route 80 westbound have uncovered the remains of what archeologists believe to...
Mustache Cops
A friend of a friend of EMToast.com co-created and starred in this short film about those who wear mustaches and...
Horrorscopes for the Week of December 8th
ARIES- The less you say the more intelligent people will think you are, well the less chances you have you...
Singing Doctor Cures Insomnia And Other Tales
When you start a new job, some terrible things happen to your mind. You may find that you can no...
Mother Allegedly Commands Children “Kill Your Father!”
47 year old man was married to his 40 year old wife for almost 20 years and they have a...
Rapist Viciously Beaten By Victim’s Children During Attack
24 Year old horny young man went up to the roof of his building one night trying to peak at...
Workplace Mystery #208: The Money Changers
It happens every day. This phenomena, it comes without warning, without reason. People go to work, not to work but...
Better Never than Late Game Review-Guitar Hero Aerosmith
I wrote this tirade on this game tape a few months back and it was just lingering in Word Press...
