It’s not every day that you get the chance to interview a werewolf.  One of the benefits of a site like EMToast is that you have an opportunity to meet mythical creatures right in the comments section.  Please enjoy my interview with Alex aka Decronis and learn what it’s like to be a werewolf in 2010.

Decronis: wanna see real were (wolf) just, piss me off and you well see one

EMToast: I well? Fuck you!!! Now change.

Decronis: sometimes we run on two legs some times four sometimes five if u catch my drift

Decronis: all of u are fake. im the eighteen son of the devil my name is decronis my birth name is alex veleteriz im a werewolf and i hate it its not a blessing it a punishment killing the ones u love for food pains me. i wish i could die but i cant. i used to live in aurora its a different dimension. earth is just a feeding ground for us. my dad a.k.a devil as u guys call him took over a mans life and got a girl pregnant when i was born i was taken away from my mother to live in aurora were i was trained to become the perfect killer a werewolf. when i was four i was returned home to my mother but she did not no me so i was taken to a orphanage soon kids were missing cuz i needed to eat an thats all im gonna tell u guys for now

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Scribblenauts is the newest and most addictive DS game to hit the streets. I threw all my other games out as they are now obsolete.

Please vote to tell us:

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January 15, 2009

A Greenbay Wisconsin woman returned home friday afternoon to find a creature defiling her living room carpet.

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MEDFORD, WISCONSIN – An area boy told local authorities he was able to fend off a werewolf attack Friday night using nothing more than a gallon jug of antifreeze.  He was reportedly walking to the barn to complete his nightly chores, when a creature rushed him. Quick thinking, the boy grabbed a nearby gallon of antifreeze and dumped it on the concrete walkway.  The boy told authorities he knew antifreeze was poisonous to dogs, and they cannot resist drinking it.  “Prestone’s sweet to them, like Kool Aid,” said the boy “And the wolfman got on all fours and  lapped it up just like one of the hounds drinks from a puddle.”

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EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5 werewolf sightings of all time.

1: The Howling

This is the mother of all modern werewolf movies.  It is the first known appearance of the long eared dog footed werewolf.  In the year 1980 terrifying commercials appeared across the country on late night television.  These commercials were so frightening that two young children aged 6 and 4 are said to have refused to go upstairs into their apartment because they were afraid that monsters known as “howlings” were waiting for them up there.  This film is EMT rated #1 for authenticity and for strict adherence to lycanthropic legend. It has what is considered to be the greatest of all werewolf transformations. Read the rest of this entry »

Ya know, this book got me to thinking that old Michael Landon take on the Wolfman catches a lot of unnecessary flack. Sure he eschewed normal man-wolf behavior and opted to choke a bitch out instead of dispatching a victim in the expected feral fashion, but the man was breaking down stereotypes. The average woof-man would likely bare fangs then proceed to gnaw off an arm while claw slashing an abdomen to midriff release a steaming miles long pile of intestinal fortitude. Not ol’ Landon, the Highway to Heaven creep took lupine mannerisms to an up close and personal vibe and wrapped paws around neck and gave it a furry pressurized squeeze. I could only imagine the victims thoughts as she was being loomed down upon by an adult male sized plushie. “Is this beast going to hug me or pelvic thrust my leg? Oh wow, those hairy mitts are kind of soft on my collar. Oh shit, this mutt is strangling me. Does Wolfman really have nards?” Read the rest of this entry »