He Asked for An “Italian Pie” and a”Plain Sub”? What He Got Was Inconceivable

Dear Doctor:  When I call the pizza place, I sometimes get confused and instead or ordering a plain pie and an italian sub, I order an Italian Pie and a plain sub.  Wha’ts wrong? — Mixed up in Piscataway

Dear Pisces: When you ask for that, what does the guy say?   I did a couple experiments here.  First I called Sal’s to ask for an italian pie.  At first Sal was speechless.  Then he said, “you mean a pizza pie? We got it.”

Next I called, Vinnie’s and tried to order a plain sub.  Vinnie was like, “Plain sub.  What’s that.  Without lettuce and tomato?  Dry?”

Third I called Dominic’s and asked for an Italian pie and a plain sub.  Dominic just laughed and said, “Off your brain medicine again Doctor?  15 minutes.”

My advice: Let your wife order next time.