Wax Bag: So You Don’t Have To Stay Home And Bleed

In the great year of 1978, women were freed from their bloody bondage by the invention of a simple wax coated bag.  Headband cycling, bikini tanning, armpit scratch tennis matches, and teapotting were just a few activities that tampon bags allowed women to enjoy during menstruation.  With the invention of the wax coated necessity bag women threw off their bloody shackles.  Before the bag, the disposal of feminine hygiene products kept women chained to their toilets.  Today women don’t have to sit home and bleed. They are free to go out and bleed everywhere…on park benches, at restaurants, on the sand at the beach, sidewalks, and department stores.

Whereas once women had to spend three days on the toilet in a nest of paper towels, now they could fly like eagles shitting rocks and bones on people’s cars breaking their windshields.