The Pedo-Files: Exploring Inappropriate Relationships In Gaming
Subject: Dr. Light.
Esteemed roboticist Dr. Thomas Light has long been under saucy scrutiny for his near obsessive creations of moppet machines and automatous adolescents. Light’s first foray into puerile android companionship resulted in the construction of Proto-Man. Outfitted with a dashing scarf and fanciful red and grey outfit to-die-for, Light became quickly infatuated. Light’s incessant advances and perverse handling proved too much for even the Proto-Shield to deflect and Proto-Man soon went rogue and disappeared.
Blue-balled and alone, Light soon began work on his next invention and it wasn’t long before his bi-curiosity had left him with a problematic gender query. The ever avarice doctors decision led to the birth of the brother-sister robo-twink combo of Mega-Man & Roll.
During this time Light’s colleague Dr. Wily grew suspicions of his friend’s obsession with the juveniles and a confrontation occurred. Wily tried to question Mega-Man and requested him to show him on a Mazinger-Z doll where he had been touched. At the sight of this, Light quickly ran a magnet over Mega’s memory banks and all proof of pedo pandering had vanished. To this day Wily has sought to put an end to the busy hands of Light by creating his own robot army only to have his interventions crushed by the brain washed boy in blue and his mayo pellet spewing mega-buster.
**Researchers side notes**
1) Light’s depravity has also been rumored to have sunk as low as bestiality with the concoction of Rush- a canine inspired robot programmed to have a penchant for peanut butter
2) See Lifetime movie “I Know My Name is Proto” for further insight on Proto-Man file.
This fits in nicely with a conversation that was had about Robotron 2084. Those females in the game kept going over by the robots and we were like, were you fucking a robot? let me smell your mouth for oil!!! Don’t you be bringing home any cyborg babies.
when you hang with robots, you gots to watch out for that oily discharge.
OMG is that tron guy’s brother?
It’s his non-retarded cousin.
all that japanimation stuff looks like speed racer to me.
Yeah why is John Goodman in every anime these days?
is he?
whose john goodman anyway?
No. He’s the father from Roseanne.