The Lord Wants You to Learn to Park

This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton.

Dear Doctor Charles: I travel through our local area quite a lot. Parking here, and parking there. I generally don’t stay anywhere for very long so don’t pay much attention to how or where I park. I don’t see what the big deal is of blocking someone in for a minute or two, or squeezing into a really tight spot next to another car. I have gotten a few tickets, but lately I have been getting strange messages from God written on tracts about my parking. I may not be the best parker, but can I really go to hell for this? What should I do? – Parking Sin

Dear Parking Sin: Are you for real? God already told you what to do. Get thy self to a parking school or you are going to hell pal.