Procrastination Named America’s Top Pastime, Beating Out Netflix and Chill

In a shocking turn of events, procrastination has been named America’s top pastime, beating out other worthy contenders like staring at the wall or counting ceiling tiles.

According to a recent survey conducted by the American Leisure Association, an overwhelming majority of Americans admitted to regularly procrastinating, with many citing the activity as their favorite way to waste time.

“We were truly shocked by the results of this survey,” said ALA spokesperson Janet Johnson, rolling her eyes. “We expected to see Netflix and chill at the top of the list, but it turns out that Americans just can’t resist the allure of doing absolutely nothing.”

The survey also revealed that procrastination is not just limited to lazy millennials, with people of all ages and backgrounds admitting to regularly indulging in the pastime.

“I used to love going to the movies or hitting the gym, but now I just find myself scrolling through Facebook or staring at my phone for hours on end,” said 43-year-old mother of two, Lisa Thompson. “Procrastination is just so much more satisfying, you know?”

Despite the popularity of procrastination, some experts are raising concerns about the potential negative effects of the activity.

“Procrastination can lead to increased stress, decreased productivity, and a general feeling of ennui with one’s life,” said Dr. Sarah Williams, a psychologist specializing in leisure behavior, as she checked her email for the hundredth time that day. “While it may be enjoyable in the moment, it’s important for people to recognize the potential downsides and try to find a healthier balance in their leisure activities.”

Despite these warnings, it appears that procrastination is here to stay, with many Americans showing no signs of giving up their favorite pastime anytime soon. “I mean, who doesn’t love procrastinating?” said 26-year-old office worker, Jake Thompson, as he played solitaire on his computer. “It’s just so satisfying.”