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The luxurious life of the privileged is at your fingertips and toetips in just 8 short weeks.

The revolutionary new formula will keep you from biting your nails. Are you plagued by the insatiable urge to bite your toenails? Do you wait until the cover of night to indulge in your nail gnawing?
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Worry no more.

The revolutionary new product NO BITEZ will keep you from nibbling your nails to nubs. The formula promotes nail growth and prevents nail biting by causing your nails to taste like canine anal glands.

Lead the priveledged life you deserve, with long luxurious nails.

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See what it feels like to be a tip-toeing eagle!!!
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Rip through your sheets!!!
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Never wear closed toe shoes again!!

Never wipe your ass again without assistance!!

Never work again, go on permanent disability and let the state pay for your every need and whim.

Never brush your hair, teeth, feed or dress yourself, open doors, cans, packages, drive, shower, tie your shoes, never do anything ever again!!

Treat yourself to a bottle today for just 3 easy payments on $29.99

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13 thoughts on “Perfect Nails Made Easy: 8 Feet in 8 Weeks

  1. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i need to puke now that is gross

  2. Amazes me that there are women who would actually like to do this.
    Ever go to an office and the aa bitch behind the desk types REAL slow and carefully because she has
    these stupidly long fucking nails? Why do they keep someone so useless on?
    Are big long shiney nails some kind of disability or something?
    I mean, WTF?

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