My Battle Scarred Skeleton underneath Your Front Porch
One day you're going to find my battle scarred skeleton underneath your front porch.
I Was a Middle Aged Weresnack
I was bit by a Chips Ahoy. Now at every full moon, my bones turn to cookie crumbs and Kool-Aid...
Tasers Banned after Intestinal Explosion Burns Hot-Wings Champ during DUI Arrest
Deerface, Iowa -- Two officers and a college student remain in critical but stable condition after an arrest gone wrong....
Let Him Be the Robot’s Child
A pregnant woman told her husband, “For the tenth one, I want to do a Jersey Devil thing but with...
All the Robots Are Wiping Now
Stephan Himmel the renowned futurist who since the 1950's has predicted such inventions as Automatic Coffee Pots, Portable Fans, Cordless...
Robo-Coffin Makes Dying Alone Convenient
Robo-Coffin is the new product from Local Area Industries that eliminates the worry and stress about dying alone. No longer...
Local Authorities Warn of Serial Slapper
LOCAL AREA, USA. Authorities in our local area are warning residents to be on alert for a serial slapper. This...
Defense Mechanisms of the Reese Owl Bat
Does the Reese owl bat spray blood out of its mouth or hiss? No, this denizen of the North...
Are You My Father? 8 Ways to Turn Millennial Troubles Around
It finally happened. Another surprise from that bitch you broke up with more than 20 years ago. He shows up...
‘Safety First Vigilante’ Terrorizes Local Motorists
'A new danger on our local roads has been dubbed the "Safety First Vigilante" by those who've seen him. He...
GB Boy Color: The Backlit Gameboy Color Nintendo Never Produced
If you want to back into Gameboy games, don’t bother buying a used Nintendo Gameboy of any model. Those things...
Easter Egg Found in C64 Game After 30 Years
This is "Tattling with Tanya" Calumny the hallucinatory gossip columnist. Tanya is a proud Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome survivor which gives her...
Why You’ll Never Succeed at 6400mg Advil Overdose
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Are UFOs Hiding in Front of the Sun Where We Can’t See Them?
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they...
Suicide Dogs Bring Release to Terminally Ill
Unusual service animals are nothing new. Helper moneys and guide dogs are a common sight in today's society. These incredible...
Over 40 and Balding–You’re Finished
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Dear Dr. Even a Zombie Has More Energy than Me
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Man Spends More Money on Toilet Paper Than His Electric Bill
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected at...
Why Your Boyhood Pain Never Works out the Way You Plan
I'll never forget the event that lead to my eventual disappearance. I came home from my math tutor and found...
What Does Taylor Swift Do on Saturday? Screw Your Wig on Tight to Find Out
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Scientists Were Loving… Then Everything Mutated
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
Tell Me Sincerely, Are You Living?
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
Does the Doctor Hate Vanilla? The Answer Will Make Your Bones Rattle
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor Fullerton:...
I’ll Never Look at Brains the Same Again
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
They Asked If He Was Nunsk… Then It Got Real
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
When You Find out Where Puppies Go When They Die… You Will Chuckle
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
The Ugly Side of Becoming a Were-Cat
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton.Dear Dr....
Why Fritzy McGee Is One of the Great Minds of Our Generation
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Are Chocolate and Vanilla Part of Big Ice Cream’s Flavorist Agenda?
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected...
This Astronauts Drinking Habits Will Inspire You
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
How Back Pain Is Killing You
Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Doctor Fullerton: ...
She Looked under the Covers… And It Was Remarkable
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
How Cigarette Butt Fishing Isn’t as Bad as You Think
Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Doctor: Do...
What Time of Day Will Jesus Come Back? He’s Going to Provoke You
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Leonard Nimoy Gives Powerful Directions… Here’s How
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
What This Doctor Recommended to Cure Exhaustion and Bloat Is Astonishing
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor: I...
What Makes You Do the Things That You’ll Regret?… You’ll Be Alarmed
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Try Not to Shout When You Hear the Worst Birthday Gift Idea
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
What Mom Never Told You about Love at First Sight
Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Doctor: I...
Cat Burglar and the Frightening Fortnight
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
He Got Bitten by an Honest Horse…Then Things Got Freaky
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
Knowledgeable Cleverness and Ignorant Imbecility Are Interesting
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
What Does Harriet Tubman’s Tramp Stamp Say? You’ll Be Stupefied.
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Even Racter Hates Philosophy Students Who Smoke Pot
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
She Grabbed Hot Speaker Wires…and Could Not Fathom What Would Happen Next
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Doctor Fullerton: ...
They Stabbed That Man… Then Things Got Awkward
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Where Are Snap, Crackle and Pop Now? You’ll Wish You Could Forget
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor...
When You Find out Seawater Is Delicious You Will Flip Your Wig
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Boyhood — Is It Even worth Watching?
This is "Coma to the Movies" with Leo Johnston, sleep disorder movie reviewer. Leo earned his M.A. from Chippewa University...
