Why Do People Think Blue Teeth Are a Good Idea?
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor: The...
Absurd World News
How YouTube Can Teach You About Fairy Tales
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected...
George Clooney Comes Forward. Bill Cosby Raped Me
This is "Tattling with Tanya" Calumny the hallucinatory gossip columnist. Tanya is a proud Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome survivor which gives her...
If You Don’t Believe This Doctor’s Claims about Corn Syrup Then You Are Living in a Sarcophagus
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor Fullerton:...
A Thinker Is Someone Who Has Had to Live with a Hysteric
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
What Experts Are Saying about Gas Prices
This is "Off the Clock" with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected...
What Does Michelle Obama’s Tramp Stamp Say? You’ll Be Enamored
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Why Sharp Teeth BJs Are Worse than Not Getting a Rose
"Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Dr. When...
What Everyone Is Saying about Vegetarian Cannibals
This is "Off the Clock" with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected...
Freshly Cut Hair May Take Root into Bare Feet
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Dr. Fullerton: ...
Watch a Mega Corporation Bring Color Blindness… Not How You’d Imagine
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
He Asked for An “Italian Pie” and a”Plain Sub”? What He Got Was Inconceivable
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor: When...
What Did Bill Cosby’s Wife Have Tattooed on Her Thigh? The Answer Will Put You in a Coma
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
How Do You Defeat a Mummy?
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
What Happened to Oracle’s Face?
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Tramp Stamp: Only When You’re Naked and Bloody Do the Cops Care
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
The Oracle and the Future Dogs Fighting with Light Sabers
Welcome to our new feature “The Oracle.” A select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable...
Brother Jerome Becomes Brother Jeremy
I heard a rumor today that the name Jerome is actually pronounced Jair-eh-mee, the same as Jeremy. I could find...
Dear Doctor: How Did Fonzie Get into Trouble with the Pink Elephant?
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Dr. Fullerton:...
Dear Doctor: I’m Afraid of Sick Rats
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor Fullerton:...
He Asked the Doctor about Brain Scan Blips… The Last 2 Seconds Will Break Your Heart
Welcome to our new non-regular feature "Ask the Doctor" where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr....
“Books on TV” Then Everything Changed
With the rise of streaming media, Americans are being bombarded with more entertainment options than ever before. Book publishers now...
TIME Word of the Year 2014 is…
Photo by WarmSleepy TIME has announced their Word of the Year and it’s one most of us have never heard...
3 Proven Ways to Dodge Debt Collectors
The big story in the news today is that one third of American's are in debt and have debt collectors...
Facebook Begins Rolling Out Friend Rating System
The social networking giant will begin rolling out an advanced friend rating system on Friday. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg announced...
What would it be like to be with the garbage woman’s daughter?
It’d be wild. But she's a bitch just like her mother.
Why You Can’t Buy Grape Ice Cream
There is no such thing as grape ice cream. The reason? It has a lot to do with dogs, girls,...
Robot King Decrees “Exfoliate them. All of them!”
When the Robot King decrees, “Exfoliate them. All of them!” the sponge bots obey. Since they are sponge bots not...
Singer Shits and Fouls Up Stage
NEWS FROM AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: Robin Think “I’ll Give You My Lovin’ (Like It Or Not) singer caused another uproar...
Folgers Crystals Are Life Crystals
Folgers crystals are life crystals. Don't let nobody tell you different. When I was having that heart attack, I put...
Bad Pussy From Last Century
When I was 20 years old, I saw my first old pussy. It was bad. I was working in a...
How To Avoid the Guilt of Not Loving Your Child
NY radio station 1010 WINS broadcast today that "behavior problems can turn the child you love and your life into...
Look at my teef. I’munna bite yo
I finally colorized the birthday card Bixby drew for me last year.
“Hands Off and Cat” Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Hands Off and Cat” Billboard to be rolled out later this year. Artwork...
“Burnty Goodness” Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Burnty Goodness” Billboard to be rolled out later this year. Artwork for this...
“Burnt Toast” Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Burnt Toast” Billboard to be rolled out later this year. Artwork for this...
"Don’t Be A Nunsk" Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Don't Be A Nunsk” Billboard to be rolled out late Fall. Artwork for...
“Toast Face One” Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Toast Face One” Billboard to be rolled out late this fall. Artwork for...
“Dirty Germs With Combovers” Billboard Sneak Preview
This is the sneak preview of the “Dirty Germs With Combovers” Billboard to be rolled out late this fall. Artwork...
“Put An End To Dolphin Rape” Billboard Sneak Preview
The second billboard in this fall’s marketing campaign begs the target market to put an end to dolphin rape. Since...
“No Doy” Cat Billboard Sneak Preview
This fall EMToast will begin a Billboard marketing campaign in select cities. This is the sneak preview of the “No...
Big Clark’s Dirty Hot Dog Secret
Big Clark was one of the greatest singers of the 20th century. The key to becoming a superior singer is...
POLICE: Feral Cats Abduct and Rape Woman
Belgian tourist, Julio Prejean, witnessed the terrorizing occurrence while vacationing in Honolulu, Hawaii. Prejean told police, “It was a safe...
The Turkey’s Prayer: A Lord’s Prayer Adaptation with Permission from God
Our turkey who art in heaven, hollow be thy breast. Thy stuffing comeThy meats be done on plates as it...
The Mouths of My Children’s Bellies: One Woman’s Foray into the Territories of Ebay
The following transcript is the abridged version of an E-bay customer transaction gone wrong. This poor woman just wanted to...
Snowbow Warning of Emergency Alert Symptoms
Don't look directly into a snowbow or you will lose your vision forever and your eyes will glaze over white....
“Ecce Homunculus” Spanish Fresco Restored
Late 90's art icon It Come has resurfaced at The Sanctuary of Mercy Church near the Spanish city of Zaragoza....
Jesus Loves You… Baby All Night Yeah
A shocking and offensive ad campaign has been rolled out across 18 Catholic universities in the United States featuring a...
You Probably Think This War Is About You
Forget World War III, that's so 80's. The real threat is the Carly Simon Wars. Marily Manson, interviewed on Omaha...
Medieval Illiterate Homeless People Were Fooky
Thous ist homeless and shall work for morsels sir. Wilst work for Morsels. George Will Slept Here and he will...
