Absurd World News
Warning! Your Emotion Providing Service Has Denied Authorization for Evil Feelings
Do not eat the marzipan devils. Your emotion providing service has denied authorization for evil feelings.
Toast Watching TV
I think that toast forgot to turn on the tv. Hey! Toast! Your TV is off! Oh he's getting it.
Coffee is Life, Coffee is Death
What's the difference anyway? Can barely tell.
15th Annual Toast Street Art Festival
This event is happening in our local area. Begin painting toasts on all of our local area streets and you...
Toast Face Sinner
A time will come when your sins will finally catch up to you. Only you know what you've done, and...
Fruitycon 2022 Promo Posters Preview
Vote with your comment on your favorite one. 5 winners will be selected as the web and wall poster promos...
Will Ferrell’s GatorZ Animated Series Announced
Based on the highly anticipated Will Ferrell movie Gatorz, a new animated series has been announced. It will follow Gator,...
Fruities Gather at Fruitycon 2022
Welcome to Fruityconcon Join us for our annual convention every summer as we celebrate fruitopomorphics, which are human-like fruit characters,...
Will Ferrell Trained for GatorZ Film to Become the Action Star He Always Dreamed
In a new set of Instagraph photos which he claims are not photoshopped, Will shows off his new physique. He...
Some Women Just Like to Dress as Fruit
Some women like to dress as fruit. Similar to furries, only they are called fruities.
President’s MAGA Loving Half Brother Jonathen Biden
Joe Biden has an evil twin brother! Not really, but turns out he’s got the next best thing—a MAGA loving...
Breaking News: It’s All Broken
Disturbing. Arrested. Vegan. Handgun. Ammunition. Special Report. Carnivore. Stand By. Final Days.
Repair Job #436: Circle Your Demons
Circle all demons. Repair all demons. This is what the management demands. This is what the residents pray for.
The Lord Wants You to Learn to Park
Dear Doctor Charles: I travel through our local area quite a lot. Parking here, and parking there. I generally don't...
3 Suspicious Trees Under Investigation in Huntington County
3 suspicious trees are under investigation in Hunterton county. The trees are suspected of hiding things in there.
Vampires Are Real
About ten years ago, someone tried to convince me that Fred Durst is a 200 year old vampire. (more…)
Who Is Chowder Supreme?
4dr14nqg / Pixabay “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton....
Miniature Cockroaches: The Blood Parasites Infecting Our Local Area
By: steve lodefink Miniature cockroaches twenty times tinier than bedbugs have been discovered in our local area. Scientists report the...
Humanzee Memoir Published—Courts to Decide Who Can Profit from This Love Story
Oliver, the human-chipmanzee hybrid who died in 2012 was more intelligent than was previously thought. A recent memoir was purportedly...
10 Strange Truths from the Private Journals of…Thomas Edison
WikiImages / Pixabay American Inventor, Thomas Edison, shared 7 strange truths about himself with EMToast (when we read his private...
Female Teddy Bear Gets 35 to Life in Plastic Bag Murder
TEDDY BEAR TOWN: A teddy bear female has been sentenced to 35 years to life in prison for the plastic-bag...
What Is inside the Head of the Great Pumpkin? It’s Stupid, Sweet, and Frightening
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Tasers Banned after Intestinal Explosion Burns Hot-Wings Champ during DUI Arrest
Deerface, Iowa -- Two officers and a college student remain in critical but stable condition after an arrest gone wrong....
All the Robots Are Wiping Now
Stephan Himmel the renowned futurist who since the 1950's has predicted such inventions as Automatic Coffee Pots, Portable Fans, Cordless...
Local Authorities Warn of Serial Slapper
LOCAL AREA, USA. Authorities in our local area are warning residents to be on alert for a serial slapper. This...
Are You My Father? 8 Ways to Turn Millennial Troubles Around
It finally happened. Another surprise from that bitch you broke up with more than 20 years ago. He shows up...
‘Safety First Vigilante’ Terrorizes Local Motorists
'A new danger on our local roads has been dubbed the "Safety First Vigilante" by those who've seen him. He...
GB Boy Color: The Backlit Gameboy Color Nintendo Never Produced
If you want to back into Gameboy games, don’t bother buying a used Nintendo Gameboy of any model. Those things...
Easter Egg Found in C64 Game After 30 Years
This is "Tattling with Tanya" Calumny the hallucinatory gossip columnist. Tanya is a proud Wernicke–Korsakoff syndrome survivor which gives her...
Why You’ll Never Succeed at 6400mg Advil Overdose
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Are UFOs Hiding in Front of the Sun Where We Can’t See Them?
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they...
Suicide Dogs Bring Release to Terminally Ill
Unusual service animals are nothing new. Helper moneys and guide dogs are a common sight in today's society. These incredible...
Over 40 and Balding–You’re Finished
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Dear Dr. Even a Zombie Has More Energy than Me
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear...
Man Spends More Money on Toilet Paper Than His Electric Bill
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected at...
What Does Taylor Swift Do on Saturday? Screw Your Wig on Tight to Find Out
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Scientists Were Loving… Then Everything Mutated
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
Tell Me Sincerely, Are You Living?
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
Does the Doctor Hate Vanilla? The Answer Will Make Your Bones Rattle
“Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton. Dear Doctor Fullerton:...
I’ll Never Look at Brains the Same Again
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
They Asked If He Was Nunsk… Then It Got Real
"Snippets with Racter" quoted from our conversations with the artificial intelligence simulator Racter (authored by William Chamberlain and Thomas Etter;...
When You Find out Where Puppies Go When They Die… You Will Chuckle
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
The Ugly Side of Becoming a Were-Cat
This is “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton.Dear Dr....
Why Fritzy McGee Is One of the Great Minds of Our Generation
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
Are Chocolate and Vanilla Part of Big Ice Cream’s Flavorist Agenda?
This is “Off the Clock” with Anthony J. Booze. AJ Booze asks residents in our local area questions they rejected...
This Astronauts Drinking Habits Will Inspire You
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
How Back Pain Is Killing You
Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton Dear Doctor Fullerton: ...
