Bears Are People Too
Taking a drive. Campfire.
Art of the Folked
Eat Pray Love
Tastes pulpy!
That Sun is a Reptile
That sun is a reptile and after this, he ain't never shinin' her way again. Art by: bixby
Three for a Quarter
You used to get 3 lives for 25 cents No continues And you liked it.
That’s the assistant Mayor
That’s the assistant mayor. The mayor has beige pants, the assistant mayor has white pants and sneakers
Lesson One: He Bleach His Self
In college, a professor asked the class why does the black community reject Michael Jackson? (This was before MJ died...
Portrait of My Dog as a French Serial Killer
My dog posed for a sketch. I placed him on interview. He is a French serial killer. French is the...
Happy Birthday Bleedin’ Baby Jesus!
Merry Christmas to all from your friends at EMToast.
I Hope You Don’t Have Too Many Nightmares
Instead of saying sweet dreams, I say "Good night. I hope you don't have too many nightmares." Instead of saying...
Two Drops To Guppy Heaven
Back then you could buy a tankful of feeder guppies for just a few cents. You could pick up an...
“If I see her in the store, I’ll just yell RAPE! and run away”
On encountering old co-workers.
“I’ll kill the shit out of you”
In a non-threatening way.
Cold Eared Bunnies in Loaf Position
“The Air conditioning was cranked so high, I came home to cold eared bunnies in loaf position in August”
“I did not know that in 2005 they found his body…”
I did not know that in 2005 they found his body in a Connecticut field with his throat slit. Charles...
Your World is Covered in Dog Diarrhea
your world is covered in dog diarrhea
Your Eyes Look Like They Smell Like Corn
Your Eyes Look Like They Smell Like Corn
"Gimme Turkey" Key to Pilgrim Survival
In 1564 the native american indians taught the pilgrims how to survive the harsh north american winters by smoking four...
Happy Belated 3rd Birthday EMToast!
You were scraped out of my mind 3 yrs and 2 months ago.
Dear Stinkbug, I Love You, Now Die
Dear Stinkbug, I do not appreciate coming home to find you on my toothbrush. Since you touched it, I am...
Happy Halloween
Go pack your cavities with sugar.
Smoking Saves Lives
I just want to say thanks to the drunken asshole, walking down the middle of the road at night wearing...
My baby pooped itself. Fuck you.
Facebook sentiment of the year.
Dandelions in the Disco Room
It’s Friday night and the Dandelions are ready to hit the clubs. It’s just past 12 so all the cool...
Top 10 Signs That You Are a Hoarder
How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If...
Chocolate Bunny Want Meat
Easter bunny get up this morning and he want hims meat. Them childrens was runnin all around up and down...
Winter’s Bone Witches in the Woods
Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? (more…)
