EMToast
Repair Job #436: Circle Your Demons
Circle all demons. Repair all demons. This is what the management demands. This is what the residents pray for.
The Lord Wants You to Learn to Park
Dear Doctor Charles: I travel through our local area quite a lot. Parking here, and parking there. I generally don't...
Seven Benefits of Local Trash Milk
Trash milk is the most popular non-dairy milk in the United States. It is rich in several healthy nutrients, but...
3 Suspicious Trees Under Investigation in Huntington County
3 suspicious trees are under investigation in Hunterton county. The trees are suspected of hiding things in there.
Vampires Are Real
About ten years ago, someone tried to convince me that Fred Durst is a 200 year old vampire. (more…)
Husband Throws up in Sink Everyday for 40 Years — What Doctors and Plumbers Find Is Astounding!
By: shira gal We never had no problems with our drain. You could put anything down there and it would...
Gratitude: A Failed Endeavor
So ...I was like yeah I'm going to read this inspirational article about gratitude and learn something and maybe see...
What If Trump Was a Goat?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Ryan Reynolds Was a Baby Lion?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Amy Schumer Was Miss Piggy
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Channing Tatum Was Prince Harry?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Jesus Was Baby Jesus?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Jesus Was Santa?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Tom Cruise Was Green?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Trump Was a Turtle?
All photos created by Murphy Bot based on EMToast’s questions.
What If Gandhi Was Rambo??
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Who Is Chowder Supreme?
4dr14nqg / Pixabay “Ask the Doctor” where readers ask questions of the world renounced general practitioner Dr. Charles V. Fullerton....
The Veggie Lion Dreams of Fat Little Sheep
The lion mesmerizes its prey. It says, "Lay down and die," but the lion does not eat its prey. This...
Miniature Cockroaches: The Blood Parasites Infecting Our Local Area
By: steve lodefink Miniature cockroaches twenty times tinier than bedbugs have been discovered in our local area. Scientists report the...
Humanzee Memoir Published—Courts to Decide Who Can Profit from This Love Story
Oliver, the human-chipmanzee hybrid who died in 2012 was more intelligent than was previously thought. A recent memoir was purportedly...
Godzilla 2016 NEWS! Alternate ‘Resurgence’ Movie Poster Leaked
An alternate movie poster for the July 2016 movie Godzilla Resurgence has leaked. Check out the teaser trailer for the...
Taste Crystal Windex RIGHT NOW!
Right now we're all thirsty for something cleaner. Right now artificial feels so right. Right now we're gonna make it...
10 Strange Truths from the Private Journals of…Thomas Edison
WikiImages / Pixabay American Inventor, Thomas Edison, shared 7 strange truths about himself with EMToast (when we read his private...
Female Teddy Bear Gets 35 to Life in Plastic Bag Murder
TEDDY BEAR TOWN: A teddy bear female has been sentenced to 35 years to life in prison for the plastic-bag...
ART 101: Intro to Rabbit Poop Snowman E-course
This is EMToast University with Professor Miguel Q. Tadpool. Professor Tadpool, is 2015 "Chill Professor of the Year" for his...
What Is inside the Head of the Great Pumpkin? It’s Stupid, Sweet, and Frightening
“The Oracle” where a select group is asked to answer unknown questions and to ask unanswerable questions. These are submitted...
My Battle Scarred Skeleton underneath Your Front Porch
One day you're going to find my battle scarred skeleton underneath your front porch.
I Was a Middle Aged Weresnack
I was bit by a Chips Ahoy. Now at every full moon, my bones turn to cookie crumbs and Kool-Aid...
Let Him Be the Robot’s Child
A pregnant woman told her husband, “For the tenth one, I want to do a Jersey Devil thing but with...
All the Robots Are Wiping Now
Stephan Himmel the renowned futurist who since the 1950's has predicted such inventions as Automatic Coffee Pots, Portable Fans, Cordless...
Robo-Coffin Makes Dying Alone Convenient
Robo-Coffin is the new product from Local Area Industries that eliminates the worry and stress about dying alone. No longer...
Local Authorities Warn of Serial Slapper
LOCAL AREA, USA. Authorities in our local area are warning residents to be on alert for a serial slapper. This...
Defense Mechanisms of the Reese Owl Bat
Does the Reese owl bat spray blood out of its mouth or hiss? No, this denizen of the North...
Are You My Father? 8 Ways to Turn Millennial Troubles Around
It finally happened. Another surprise from that bitch you broke up with more than 20 years ago. He shows up...
