What would it be like to be with the garbage woman’s daughter?
It’d be wild. But she's a bitch just like her mother.
Year: 2014
Why You Can’t Buy Grape Ice Cream
There is no such thing as grape ice cream. The reason? It has a lot to do with dogs, girls,...
A History of The World by Fritzy McGee
200 years ago people lived in caves and wore animal skins and cleaned chimneys with the bones of small children...
Don’t pass out in your sleep
If you pass out in your sleep, you’ll never wake up again. Homage to “It come to sleep on your...
Godzilla of the Parking Lot
The boy carelessly lost the small rubber Godzilla figure from the car at an interstate rest stop. “Mom! Stop! My...
Robot King Decrees “Exfoliate them. All of them!”
When the Robot King decrees, “Exfoliate them. All of them!” the sponge bots obey. Since they are sponge bots not...
Apples of your cheeks should be called tomatoes of your cheeks
Apples of your cheeks should be called tomatoes of your cheeks because when you punch them they split open like...
Dead Bear Obsession Threatens Reality
T.S. Eliot wrote “Humankind cannot bear very much reality.” Four out of five people are obsessed with dead bears and...
Here is a recent picture of me. This is what I look like now.
Dear Mom and Dad, As you know, I moved far away. The town I live in now doesn’t have duck...
