It’s all bitter on the inside

Cake-Face-1

Sometimes when you decide to be a baker you aren’t a good mixer and when you make cakes and things the batter has all those secret lumps of bitter things like baking soda and powder and cream of tartar, things that hurt your salivary glands.  I bet you didn’t know that those secret bitter lumps are where the souls of cakes are housed.

So the next time you are a baker and your mixing skills aren’t so hot and someone has the audacity to complain about tiny cream of tartar landmines in  a cake that was baked for them for free, just point out that they just ate the cake’s soul,  and it is a very rare thing to be able to devour a cake soul because many things have to align at the very moment of batter conception to guide your hand to miss the mixing and allow a cake soul to come into being. They should be honored and have some dignity, after all you don’t see Shiva devouring souls and then complaining that the are all bitter and powdery, and he eats his soul worlds at a time.

And seriously,what the fuck do you expect a soul to taste like, cotton candy? You’re lucky it doesn’t taste like dorian fruit.  Look here, don’t expect anymore cakes from me, and you know what don’t ever  talk to me again you ungrateful soul eating son of a bitch. Good Day Sir!

You’re going to have to go somewhere else for your cake needs

try 1-800-mulletcake

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