Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. A movie about a creepy sniffling baby who grows up to be a creepy sniffling guy. This is the kind of movie that you hear about and then just kind of forget. If you’re a guy, chances are a movie entitled Perfume:The Story of a Murderer probably isn’t all that appealing. I nearly skipped it myself until I was reminded that it’s a movie about a guy who is trying to make the perfect perfume – out of virgins.
Note to the ladies: Don’t wear too much perfume. It stinks and gives me a headache. And at least make sure it’s a nice smelling perfume or it’s all over. Here’s an example. One of my girl friends had a friend who I thought was cute. I kept maliciously joking with my friend that I was going to knock up her friend. This friend did not want me going near her friend who seemed to me to be damn near puritanical status. Anyway somehow I got her number, I think I tricked my friend into giving it to me somehow and managed to set up the date I was looking forward to it. I stopped at her house to pick her up. As she got into the car, her smokey scented perfume hit me. This wasn’t cigarette smoke, this was perfume. Heavy smoked salmon scented perfume. My sense of smell barely exists, so believe me it was some strong stuff. From this point forward the date was ruined. I went through the motions of the date, but that scent was such a turn off that it was the last time I ever took her out.
Back to the movie.
Things I liked: Accidental suffocation, mass murders +12, tons of various deaths and executions, X-men caliber super sniffer, nudity, dark ages push up dresses, perfume messiahs, building collapse, cannibalism
Things I learned: You can’t extract perfume scent from cats, copper, or glass. If you live in a stone building, don’t ignore personal earthquakes. Dustin Hoffman knows a lot about making perfume. It takes a lot of work to extract essential oils from things. France is dirty.
Things I disliked: Feeling like I could actually extract essential oils and create my own 12 note perfume. White wigs and powder
All in all it was a great flick. I give it 4 out of 5 toasts with 3 pieces of half cooked bacon on the side.
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