Astounding Wolf-Man Review
Ya know, this book got me to thinking that old Michael Landon take on the Wolfman catches a lot of unnecessary flack. Sure he eschewed normal man-wolf behavior and opted to choke a bitch out instead of dispatching a victim in the expected feral fashion, but the man was breaking down stereotypes. The average woof-man would likely bare fangs then proceed to gnaw off an arm while claw slashing an abdomen to midriff release a steaming miles long pile of intestinal fortitude. Not ol’ Landon, the Highway to Heaven creep took lupine mannerisms to an up close and personal vibe and wrapped paws around neck and gave it a furry pressurized squeeze. I could only imagine the victims thoughts as she was being loomed down upon by an adult male sized plushie. “Is this beast going to hug me or pelvic thrust my leg? Oh wow, those hairy mitts are kind of soft on my collar. Oh shit, this mutt is strangling me. Does Wolfman really have nards?”
The modern day lycanthrope get all aggro and it’s like they are listening to Master of Puppets and snorting ground up tiger balls before they embark on their nightly forage of flesh. No class at all like my man Michael. No….class….at ….all. Oh, so anyhoo, I am sitting here banging on keys to write a little something about this book. When my friend first told me there was a collection of Wolfman comics, a tickling wave of excitement washed over me and I envisioned classic movie monster shenanigans and the bustin’ of silver bullet caps. Nope, it’s an average hero imagining with highly unlikable characters engaging is some typical comic book treadmill trudging. The writing by Robert Kirkman, also of Walking Dead fame, is standard fare and it takes 7 issues to wade through before any eyebrow slanting actions take place. Somewhat surprising since The Walking Dead constantly shocks the shite out of me. The art by Jason Howard doesn’t satisfy my style palate at all and seems like it might be more at home in an issue of Disney presents-Crap for Kids.
Overall rating- 2 stanky squirrel and chipmunk bone laced Wolfman lawn droppings out of 5.
I still want to check this out. You just can’t go wrong with werewolves. Even if they can talk and from what I saw they also appear to be friends with a dracula.
The one aspect of the werewolf I have yet to see touched upon is their genitals. Seriously no one tells you what happens to the junk packet.
I mean does it retract like flying birds, or turn into a dog lipstick or is it hanging out snagging on bushes and stuff. I mean how did Michael Landon deal with that? I bet he wore a cup.
dude, this werewolf is yuppie. Im not even joking either.
I saw the wolf practically crying and dracula was next to him and some other wolf was beating on him. i liked the movie teen wolf and even teen wolf too. the world doesn’t have enough yuppie wolves.
monstersquad was way better. 1987 4eva!
Walking Dead is one of the best comics around. I have to believe there is something good to be found in this series. Of course without reading it, it’s pretty easy to believe anything.
walking dead is by far the best zombie comic ever, it beats all zombie media in all forms
Toe, go back to your comforting X-Masturbationism. If a comic with a brain- or just as well a werewolf with a brain, that LOOKS like a wolf for chrissakes- is beyond your capability to enjoy, or if you miss Grant Morrison-esque fetishism or double-page obscenities lovingly rendered in print (and this is coming from somebody who _liked_ The Invisibles), don’t pop out a rat-shit review like this and expect people who actually do have more brain cells that you can count on your fingers to take you seriously.
Nobody’s asking you to like it if you don’t. Comics are one of the few places I think can really tell stories without being obscenely prudish or pretentious (though it certainly does happen, needlessly or otherwise) but what we do expect from you in this case is to think on the matter long enough not to say a fucking thing if you can’t accept that people (UNLIKE YOU, right?) actually like it.
Sit down and shut the fuck up, Michael. My only beef with Wolf-Man is that it didn’t go any further than #25. (Niiiiice gatefold.)