Portrait of My Dog as a French Serial Killer
My dog posed for a sketch. I placed him on interview. He is a French serial killer. French is the language of tongue curling.
He said, “Everybody makes a big deal about killing hookers like it’s such an accomplishment. Where’s the challenge in that? How about a serial killer who kills bosses. I mean that would be impressive. Tell me about a guy who has been at the same job for 17 years and killed every boss he ever had. Now you’ve got my interest.
Back in France killing people is easy. It’s the same as with cats. You don’t really think about it, you just do the killing. I’m working my way through the crowd. That’s how you do it. Slow and steady.
Did you hear about the puppy serial killer? A little dachshund and he’s been through 65 foster families in less than a year. I don’t know how he’s getting away with it, but that little guy impresses me.”
I think my dog is a liar, otherwise I’m not sure how I’ve survived this long.