I'm a Tiny Asshole

Scientists translate Chihuahua barks – they’re saying “I’m a tiny asshole.”

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Obama Winks at Queen

President Obama was taking a helicopter tour over Buckingham Palace. The vibration of the chopper combined with the Xtra-Large coffee he had that morning were too much for his bowels.

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billy wizard

Billy Wizard and Laser Dog Sent in by 7 year old Fritzy McGee of Lansing Michigan

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suck my bolt

The robot uprising has begun.  The first soldier in the war against humans was a tiny worker bot named robot 422.

To lure in the humans, the robot sang his little song. “Today I saw a robot.  Beep Beep Boop.”

When all the humans gathered around the robot he screeched out in robo-talk “Beep – Suck my bolts – beep.”

That was the signal for all the worker bots to begin disassembling the humans. As they worked they sang their battle song “Today I Saw a Robot.”

To celebrate the robotic uprising EMToast records is proud to present the hit single and battle hymn entitled “Today I Saw A Robot” off the album “Suck My Bolt” sung by the EMToast Robot Chorus.

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Diarrhea Tramp Stamp

Claritza was a young pretty stripper.  She supported her family on the earnings she made in just a few nights pole dancing a week.  One night she got a little too drunk after work and decided to get a tattoo.  The tatto artist made a pass at her.  She rejected him meanly by saying,  “I don’t fuck scumbags.” Read the rest of this entry »

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dirty germs with comb overs
Readers submission from Fritzy McGee (age 7) of Lansing Michigan

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