Pants on the ground is a life changing song it helps young people not kill theyselves after seeing Avatar the most saddest movie of our generation, says Billy Wizard who demands retribution for the sins against his people. His retribution comes every weds in the mail and cashed it and says he just got back another teeny tiny piece of his soul from the crippled marine who tricked his people for the man he mostly drinks stuff he calls fire water that he makes in the garage and sometimes dogs get killed when they sneak in and drink it, he says it is because they avatars grown in test tubes yo got to has soooul to be able to drink it or you gonna die. He gives laser dog bong hits. Because he is a real dog and he guards Billy Wizard’s shit from me. I think he thinks it will fix his poor broke down laser.

Children’s Literature is the last course I ever imagined I’d take.  Yet there I was, analyzing Curious George in my last semester of community college.  I was working full time at one job, going to school 3 nights a week and there weren’t any night other options to fulfill the English requirement.  I was still ashamed. I think the point of the class was to discuss different children’s books and their values.  Most of the kids in the class seemed to have taken the course because they actually liked children’s books.

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On the old 1970’s Incredible Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferigno, there was an episode where this old man was taking some kind of special arthritis treatments and he turned into another hulk.  I remember thinking how crazy and weird it was that there was this skinny tall old man hulk fighting the regular Hulk.  What was this skinny old man with green make-up doing fighting the Hulk?  Something about it just didn’t seem right to me, but even so the concept always stuck with me.  The Hulk was already a perversion.  A freak.  So how can you make a freakier freak?  Age him.  That usually works.

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Recently re-Animated dead prez Abraham Lincoln is planning on jumping back in the spotlight this spring.

In a recent interview Lincoln told Emtoast.com “I’m working on a new reality show and a talk show, going back to high school .  I got a talk show coming, yall aint’ going to be mad at ya boy.”

Lincoln first caught the reality tv bug when he appeared on VH1’s “The Surreal Life”

Lincoln is now going on to start his own reality series “Love Me Lincoln” following a similar format to ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘Flavor of Love’.

Lincoln first gained his stardom as the 16th president of the United states from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865.  He is known for sporting his trademark beard around his neck.

A clinic operated by the University of California-Irvine may have been involved in illegal alien embryo transfer in 1998.

Records indicate that extraterrestrial embryos were implanted into human hosts without consent.  There is no clear indication as to the number of embryos implanted.

The scandal appears to be part of an alien colonization attempt.

According to the 1/11 SACRAMENTO BEE at least 600 patients have been victimized.

I know a guy who gets into a lot of fights, and nearly every story he tells about them contains a “tough guy” in a pink shirt.  These pink shirt guys all seem to be assholes who are nasty to waitresses, say rude things to girls at bars, and bully just about anyone who is weaker then them.  They pick on the weak, then  most of the time all somebody has to say to them is something like “Nice shirt.. do they make it in men’s?” to shut them down.

That doesn’t always work though and I think a couple of them ended up knocked out  and piled up behind a TGI Fridays dumpster.