Posts Tagged “Peanuts”

Velvet Peanut Butter
A new study conducted by Station Park Cancer Hospital has shown that between the years 1973 and 2010 ninety-nine percent of people diagnosed with bowel, bladder, lung, or brain cancer had eaten peanut butter or were related to someone who had. It is still too early to tell what the exact link is, but scientists are determined to find it, even if it means asking questions like how often patients ate peanut butter and in combination with what other foods.

Dr. Erdnuss Arahide who first discovered the potential cancer link states, “Peanut butter is dangerous. With further research I hope to discover if peanut butter alone is the catalyst or if it’s a deadly reaction between peanut butter and other foods.  We could be contacting the FDA, and peanut butter could be banned from store shelves within the month.  It has already been banned in some schools due to childhood peanut allergies. If we can prove that it causes cancer, the ban will definitely be nationwide. We can’t eradicate peanut butter,  just like we can’t eradicate cigarettes.  No one can tell you what to do with your body, but they can tell you that you can’t eat peanut butter in public.”

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