I grew in the ghetto of my town, but I never knew it until I read it in the paper years later.  I didn’t have a ghetto blaster though,  I called mine a boom box.

When we first moved into the house, the back yard was full of empty turtle shells because the previous tenants liked turtle soup. My my sister’s bedroom had a giant treasure chest filled with sand and cigarette butts.  We kids weren’t even allowed to stay at the place for the first couple weeks because the conditions were so poor.  It took all my parent’s had to get the place up to standards, but they did it.  So well in fact that  I really never knew we were living in the ghetto.

My neighbor taught me how to electrocute yourself with the loose wires behind the tv for fun. We were switching from tv to video so we could play some Berzerk on Atari 2600. 

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You used to get 3 lives for 25 cents 
No continues 
And you liked it. 

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a good idea to go after a couple juicy cherries, a strawberry, orange, or apple but nine times out of ten it’ll just end up getting you killed by ghosts.  That’s why I never eat fruit.  I won’t even drink fruit juice a.k.a. ghost blood.

As you may know, the act of biting into a fruit releases the trapped souls hidden inside.  The more seeds the fruit has, the more ghosts will be released.  I once bit into an apple and eight spectres were haunting me for weeks.

Research shows that fully seeded Watermelon is the most dangerous fruit.  I heard about a guy who swallowed a watermelon seed and a baby ghost got into his gut.   That think would scream and cry all day and all night from his insides. He lost his job, his wife, his house, even his mistress left him.  A woman ate just one slice of watermelon and had the ghosts of 13 construction workers haunting here with their whistles and whoops every time she put on a skirt.

Even if fruit is left to rot, the ghosts can sometimes manifest as fruit flies.  Nobody really knows how or why the ghosts get into the fruit.  Many believe they are absorbed through the human remains left in the soil.

The only thing we know for sure is that the one fruit that is safe from haunting is the tomato.  Even though those know-it-all scientists tell us the tomato is a fruit, nobody believes them, including ghosts.

P.S. Pretzels are a fruit.

photo credit: Visentico / SentoIf

Nonsense is the new making sense.  At least at UC Berkeley Dept of Psychology where Professors Tania Griffith and Tomas Lombrazo co-teach their Proseminar: Foundations of Disassociative Cognition. CCN: 84955

Much like an immersive foreign language course, students in “Disassocitive” Class are asked to stop making sense as soon as they walk through the door.

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