I’m 97 years old, and I never heard of cancer until I was 12 years old.  My neighbor fell down the stairs and broke his leg.  He went to the hospital and did you know he never came out ‘cause they said he had cancer? I never heard  of cancer before.  I think they gave it to him. Who goes to the hospital with a broken leg and ends up with cancer?

Doctors invented cancer to get your money and keep you in the hospital. When they open you up and let the air get at it, it spreads everywhere.

Look at me.  I got popcorn shrimp swimming around in my veins.  I ain’t going to the hospital for that.  I’ll get cancer.  That’s how they get you.

Aries You’re feeling lucky this week, well, you are not. Black tie events are in your future, don’t screw it up. Beware of large dogs bearing gifts on Friday. A chance meeting with a Scorpio will have you in a rage on the 27th.  Stay away from psychic vampires this week.

Cancer The person you have latched onto as your meal ticket will be exiting the picture. Fear not dear Cancer, with some misinformation you could find yourself on easy street again. By mid week the voices in your head  will be very persuasive, heed their advice on the 25th. A dark family secret will rear it’s transgendered head by Friday.

Taurus If you’re not careful those dust bunnies you’ve been ignoring for so long under the bed will prove to fatal. Clear out the dark corners in your life on the 23rd. Thursday will be an adventure and introduction to Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The yellow pages will reveal the answer to a question you’ve been pondering for some time.

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