The Veggie Lion Dreams of Fat Little Sheep

The lion mesmerizes its prey.  It says, “Lay down and die,” but the lion does not eat its prey.  This is a veggie lion. He eats the grass around the antelopes leaving strange reverse imprints of terrified animals in the grass.  He sloppily drinks Hawaiian punch giving the fur near his mouth a blood stained look considered stylish in the lion community.

On Friday and Saturday nights he treats him mane with Hair Soy Renewal Oil with Argan Oil Nourishing Styling Treatment, sharpens his teeth and heads out to the lion clubs to try to meet some lionesses.

This week he is cautious. Several weeks ago he was growling in the Hippo’s club and got into it with two Liger brothers.  They beat the shit out of him and stole his drinks money.   He was limping on three legs for a week.

He is still a young lion, unsure of anything.  At night he dreams of fat little sheep.  He chases them faster and faster, the blood pumping through them all.  They feel his hot breath tearing toward them.  Their fat tiny bodies inches from his deadly claws.  They can feel how he wants them.  To Slaughter them and consume them.  Fearfully they turn and leap away.  Legs straining to live.  Have you any wool?  Have you any wool?  Yes sir.  Yes sir.  All the bags are full.

 

Photo By: Mario Micklisch

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