A History of The World by Fritzy McGee

200 years ago people lived in caves and wore animal skins and cleaned chimneys with the bones of small children and the world back then was called England because they didn’t know language and that’s just what they called it until they learned how to eat Wonder Bread sandwiches and watch Saturday morning cartoons then they called it Arizona and people started wearing pants and getting put down by the man so they started fighting with they guy they called the man who was oppressing them and they had a Vietnam with them which is in their old language before they knew words and it just meant they crawled around in tunnels and surprised each other with grenades.

Then they got tired of Vietnaming and needed to sleep so started eating heroin and doors then they had to go get the disability and they took out 28 insurance policies from different companies then cut off the tips of 2 fingers and made a quarter of a million dollars and now they wear sweatpants all day and yell at the dog and eat cheddar whales from Target and drink Weis cola and say life is like it was meant to be when they first crawled out of the swamp.

I don’t know what swamp it is but I would sure like to see all the people who are getting burned crawling out of the swamp because I thought they came out of a woman’s vagina parts not a swamp it’s probably really messy and stinky and they prob sometimes get tadpoles stuck in their pockets and I wonder if they know and get them out before they die or if they just dry up. When they dry up they look like skinny black orange seeds so us don’t even know its a baby frog fetus. They prob come out naked though I guess cause god doesn’t make clothes, people in Mexico and Pakistan make the clothes unless god orders them before the people are ready to come out of the pond. I wonder what he does if they have a strike and who measures the people or does everyone start out with the same pants size. Boy history sure is a lot to think about.

By: Fritzy McGee