Video above, and below is the transcript of Steven Hawking’s terrifying 911 call during his ordeal in a squatch nest:

911 OPERATOR: 911 what’s your emergency?

(Screaming of students)

STEPHEN HAWKING: Oh my god, the squatches are upon us!

(Squatch screams and grunting and noise of students noises)

911 OPERATOR:: Sir, quit pretending to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: I am not a robot.

911 OPERATOR: Sir, I can’t help you if you’re going to pretend to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: I am a human being and I am being eaten alive!

(Creatures screaming)

911 OPERATOR: Sir, you need to calm down.

STEPHEN HAWKING: Send the police and a crane.

(Inaudible dialogue from Hawking and creature growling)

911 OPERATOR: I can’t help you if you’re going to pretend to be a robot.

(Students screaming and sounds of attack)

STEPHEN HAWKING: These goddamn kids, they said come out and look at this white dwarf we found in our telescope…

911 OPERATOR: Sir, quit pretending to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: …I came out here to prove them wrong, they showed me a garden gnome they spray painted white. I said you buffoons, and as I turned to drive away, I fell into a squatch nest, as I began to fall they tried to save me but I dragged them down with me….

if I am going to be torn limb from crippled limb, by a gigantopythacus , the least I can do, is take…

911 OPERATOR: Sir, I can’t help you if you’re going to pretend to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: …These little good, for nothing, shits with me …

911 OPERATOR: Sir, quit pretending to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: … ha ha ha ha ha ha hahahaha. We all go down together…

911 OPERATOR: Sir, you need to calm down.

STEPHEN HAWKING: …ha! ha! ha! you! die!

(snarling)

911 OPERATOR: I can’t help you if you’re going to pretend to be a robot.

STEPHEN HAWKING: Oh the humanity!

911 OPERATOR: Sir, you need to calm down.

STEPHEN HAWKING: No one is coming to my aid! Fuck it! Powering. Down.

911 OPERATOR: Sir, you need to calm down.

(inaudible garbled squatch noises)

Similar Posts:

• "Suck My Bolt!" Robot Uprising Begins
• Horror Movies, Control Your Volume
• Paris Hilton Pregnant with Robot Baby

This entry was posted on Friday, January 27th, 2012 at 12:01 am and is filed under Weird World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.