Jul
09
2011
That Hamburger’s Your Brother (I saw it come out of your mother)
Posted by Toastmaster in Short Fiction
These were the final miles of a summer journey. The four passengers consisted of the driver, the girlfriend, the sister, and the groundhog eater. As they slowly and angrily moved through the highway traffic, returning from another coal town wedding, a hamburger was spotted. It was just sitting on the hood of the car next to them.
The groundhog eater asked, “How did it get there? Why doesn’t it fall off?”
The driver hatefully replied to him, “That hamburger’s your brother. I saw it come out of your mother. ”
They all laughed because they knew it was true.
photo credit: stu_spivack
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greasy
When is your cousin the pepperoni pizza going to visit?
You guys watched her naked waiting for something to come out of her?
Weirdos.
i think it’s kind of hard not to watch when it happens on the hood of your car
By the way, did she party during her pregnancy? That hamburger looks kinda fucked up.
Totally.
Kids fucked up.
Seriously, you guys all right over there? I mean, like, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
What happened with what?
YOUR DRUG HABIT GETTING OUT OF CONTROL?
‘Chinese firedrill can’t even kill a bitch’, the Apple Daily News stories, that shit was Ace Reporting, but this new crap??! WTF? You suffer a major head injury lately?
Dandelions, fucking panzy assed gazebos and fuckin’ pussy burgers? WHAT THE HELL?
We write what we want, when we want.
And what the hell happened to Bixby? She get abducted by aliens or something?
(If she did I want to read about it HERE!)
She just wrote that CHIPS thing 3 months ago. She’s still around.
Well, she could have been flying around in the stratosphere for those three months.
You have a duty towards your public!
More strange Asian news stories and autobiographical skethes!
(also the dolphin rape and foot perve stuff seeme to have a cult following)