Mama’s Been So Fat, Since Daddy Learned to Fry

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Disney aftermath

They say fried food is a killer.  I doubt it. The grease is just good for your whole body.

It greases up your blood and helps it slip through your veins and to your heart.  It makes your bones more rubbery so you can take a fall without breaking a leg.  It lubricates your eye drums so you don’t run out of ocular fluid and you can see real far.  Forget about carrots.  Cooked carrots rot your teeth, but the crunchy stuff on the outside of fried chicken is great for teeth.   Its grease seeps into the dentin and makes your teeth uncrackable.  One gentleman who eats fried KFC nearly every day for lunch has 100 perfectly white teeth.  Zero cavities and he’s almost 50.  He is part shark though (on his mother’s side)

So don’t let the health fanatics get you down.  Eat your bacon, burgers and fried chicken.  It’s really healthy and Atkins approved.  Don’t let the extra weight bother you either.  It’s strength training. You never know when you might need to pull a train or wrestle a bear to the ground.

Creative Commons License photo credit: meshmar2

Gorilla Head
THINKING...That's How People Get Killed

13 thoughts on “Mama’s Been So Fat, Since Daddy Learned to Fry

  1. arteries blocked shut by greasy globs of gunk, thoughts slowed to a halt in a matrix of vasalinelike slop that oozes out of the brain, greasy, sleazy sweat oooozing out of slippery pores.
    greasy fat people are slippery bastards with dead bugs stuck to them, and they are always fluffing greasy potatochip farts.
    yuck.
    they leave grease stains on all the furnature and make the toilet seat real slippery.
    when they sweat the room smells like a box of KFC.

  2. and when the grease gets stale, it starts to smell like rotten meat. my girlfriend used to eat lots of burgers and fried chicken. she never got fat, but i could smell the stench under her perfume. when we got up in the morning, the bed smelled like i had been sleeping with a rotten corpse. her, uh, feminine parts, smelled like bad ground beef.
    i told her i liked young boy’s’ feet just to get rid of her.

  3. What other kind of woman is there?
    Seriously though, she didn’t try to eat my brain or nothin’, so she was likely alive I think.

      1. I doubt I even have one, so I’ve got nothing to lose.
        A woman who keeps quiet and lets you do what you want?
        I have NO problem with that.

  4. but i like kfc, why ruin it for me,,,i think the cigerette looks more appealing…and that belly might be able to keep a beer cold…..

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