Mama’s Been So Fat, Since Daddy Learned to Fry

Disney aftermath

They say fried food is a killer.  I doubt it. The grease is just good for your whole body.

It greases up your blood and helps it slip through your veins and to your heart.  It makes your bones more rubbery so you can take a fall without breaking a leg.  It lubricates your eye drums so you don’t run out of ocular fluid and you can see real far.  Forget about carrots.  Cooked carrots rot your teeth, but the crunchy stuff on the outside of fried chicken is great for teeth.   Its grease seeps into the dentin and makes your teeth uncrackable.  One gentleman who eats fried KFC nearly every day for lunch has 100 perfectly white teeth.  Zero cavities and he’s almost 50.  He is part shark though (on his mother’s side)

So don’t let the health fanatics get you down.  Eat your bacon, burgers and fried chicken.  It’s really healthy and Atkins approved.  Don’t let the extra weight bother you either.  It’s strength training. You never know when you might need to pull a train or wrestle a bear to the ground.

Creative Commons License photo credit: meshmar2

Gorilla Head
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