The Wrestler Genie

The Wrestler Genie

Hey! Did you see that movie the Wrestler?  Yeah me too.  It wasn’t as good as that cartoon back in the 80’s that had Hulk Hogan and all his friends on the good guys team and then on the bad guys team was the Iron Sheik and all his guys.  That’s pretty much all I remember about that cartoon.  It’s more that I can remember about that movie.  I was never into wrestling except for in the 80s’s.  I think it was because my Mom hated it that I wanted to watch it.  I think every kid goes through that where you want to be into something if your mom hates it.  It’s weird though because she hated Michael Jackson and I also hated Michael Jackson.  My sister had one of those red thriller jackets though.  That was kind of cool and funny all at once.  I wish she knew how to breakdance really good.  Then we could have had all these crazy picture of at her dance recitals doing that turtle spin or whatever those poppers and lockers can do. I hated Michael Jackson so much.

One day there was practically a riot in 3rd grade.  Some of the kids were on the Joan Jett “I love Rock and Roll” team and then the others were on the Michael Jackson “Beat It” team.  We had a record player in class and everyone was scratching records and switching then and yelling.  Then I remember running up to the blackboard and tearing this girl’s Michael Jackson poster down.  I guess it was a pretty expensive poster.  It’s kind of scary what parents can get their kids to believe. 

Was the first Wrestlemania free?  I don’t think they even had paperview back then. I know I watched it. Oh wait it’s pay per view, not paperview. 

If it was paperview it could have been like the thing that had at Buster Brown shoes sore we used to go to had. It was this movie machine where you’d look into it and crank the handle and the pictures would flip and you’d see the motion picture.  Do kids even make flip books anymore.  I mean these kids have so much shit today it’s ridiculous.  If they saw a black and white flip book movie machine they’d be like fuck this I got me a Ipod.

We used to get these fucking balloons at Buster Brown and they put cardboard feet on them and we thought it was great.  I think the balloons were peanut shaped and had faces on them.   I feel like if I gave a kid that today they’d shit on it and throw it out the window.  Are they even interested in simple toys like that. When we were kids one of those balloons blew away and we were chasing it across a parking lot because it was this special once-a-year toy.  Can kids even be into that stuff anymore?  Kids are like alien creatures to me.  I probably don’t give them enough credit.

Wrestling used to have Andre the Giant and Hacksaw Jim Duggan.  And that guy with the parrots.  I never liked Rowdy Roddy Piper until he was in that movie They Live and then he gained my respect.  That movie was awesome with the sunglasses skeleton faces.  And Andre the Giant was in “The Princess Bride.”  How come wresters back then were in all these good movies?  The Rock is in the shittiest movies.   Like I saw he is going to be in this new movie “The Stranger.”  When I first saw the movie poster I thought it was funny that they would have The Rock as the main character in a movie based on the Camus novel.  That would have been crazy, but instead it’s just some bullshit movie. Are there any other wrestler actors?

Monday night means wrestling.  The night when your ex girlfriend uses it as an excuse to go smoke at her Dad’s house because neither one of you will admit that you never stopped smoking. It’s pretty fucked up if you ask me.  That’s the sign of a relationship in decline when you both know you are smoking again and still refuse to admit it.

Was there ever a movie about a wrestler who was a genie.  They had one where Shaq was a genie, but he’s not a wrester.  Do they still have that guy Goldberg?  He’d probably make a good genie.  I know they had pillows of him back in the day.  One of my buddies was real into wrestling in the late 90’s and really wanted that pillow.

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