“Everything has got boobs, even my dad and guys, “exclaims 7 year old Charlie Percheffons, the winner of the October is Breast Awareness Poster Contest for Missouri Area Schools.
“Let’s see there are pig boobs, snail boobs, bear boobs, aardvarks has boobs, frogs has boobs, there are dog boobs, tiger boobs, elephant boobs, gator boobs, cat boobs, bat boobs, I swear everything like for real EVERYTHING has boobs!”
During an interview on Friday Charlie was asked what he hoped to accomplish with his poster that will be seen in medical buildings and bus stations across the state.
“I am glad I won, people need to know that they has got boobs that everything has got them, so they can feed the little babies of the things that has got them, because a baby frog can’t get milk from anything elses boobs except for the mom frogs boobs, like you can’t be like hey tiger will you adopt this little frog baby guy and feed it from your boobs because that won’t work.”
Charlie seemed to evade reporters questions in favor of demonstrating his whistling, spitting and running abilities.
After some demonstrations of his “super high powered killer karate style kicking” Charlie added this, “Oh yeah I guess we had to make the poster so that people will know about boobs so they can watch them because sometimes they can get sick in their boobs so they have to feel them and stuff and go to the doctor. I don’t know what they feel like so I don’t know what a sick boob looks like, I don’t have any yet, my mom says I will get them like my father one day if I don’t stop eating Doritos afterschool, but I like Doritos and if they give you boobs I guess that is cool. Wonder Woman has boobs and she is cool and she has special powers and stuff.” The interview was cut short when Charlie accidentally roundhouse kicked one of his fellow student in the mouth and was sent to the principals office.
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