Laser Dog Protects Billy Wizard’s Shit

Billy Wizard and Laser Dog Sent in by 7 year old Fritzy McGee of Lansing Michigan

Fritzy writes:

"HI Emtoast,

This is going to be my new dad I think. His name is Billy Wizard, my mom calls him that and he calls her wizard sleeve and talks to  her pants crotch. I guess he is ok, he has a cool beard and he said his dog will shoot lasers out of his eyes at me if I touch any of his shit,when he is asleep on he couch I touch his shit because I want to see the lasers. I think maybe the dog is old and his lasers burned  out because he doesn’t shoot them at me. I don’t tell Billy Wizard because I think it might make him feel bad that his dog lasers don’t work and all his shit gets touched besides I don’t want him to know I touch his shit when he is asleep sometimes I throw Captain Crunch into the hair that swirls around his nipples because he always wears no shirt and I do not like to see the white hairs. ok bye for now

Fritzy McGee"