Archive for the “Television” Category

On the old 1970’s Incredible Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferigno, there was an episode where this old man was taking some kind of special arthritis treatments and he turned into another hulk. I remember thinking how crazy and weird it was that there was this skinny tall old man hulk fighting the regular Hulk. What was this skinny old man with green make-up doing fighting the Hulk? Something about it just didn’t seem right to me, but even so the concept always stuck with me. The Hulk was already a perversion. A freak. So how can you make a freakier freak? Age him. That usually works.
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Tags: Arm Wrestling, Bear, Bill Bixby, Fighting, Hulk, Lou Ferigno, Sleeping, Toastmaster, Toe Fu, Vin Diesel
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Recently re-Animated dead prez Abraham Lincoln is planning on jumping back in the spotlight this spring.
In a recent interview Lincoln told Emtoast.com “I’m working on a new reality show and a talk show, going back to high school . I got a talk show coming, yall aint’ going to be mad at ya boy.”
Lincoln first caught the reality tv bug when he appeared on VH1’s “The Surreal Life”
Lincoln is now going on to start his own reality series “Love Me Lincoln” following a similar format to ‘The Bachelor’ and ‘Flavor of Love’.
Lincoln first gained his stardom as the 16th president of the United states from March 1861 until his assassination in April 1865. He is known for sporting his trademark beard around his neck.
Tags: Lincoln, Love Me Lincoln, Reality TV, Toastmaster, VH1
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Congratulations to McDonald’s for finally doing a commercial other than that damn I’m loving it bullshit. I’m not sure if it’s the Casio SK-1 providing those fresh 80′s beats or one of those radio shack calculator keyboard combos, but it’s a great improvement. Also it’s some brilliant viral marketing when my girlfriend keeps trying to sing this song to me for 2 days since I never saw it on TV and then she finally looks it up to youtube and sends it to me and then it winds up here. Congrats Micky D’s you just got 4 more ad impressions. Now gimme back that filet of fish.

Tags: McDonalds, Singing Fish, Toastmaster
6 Comments »

If you were a kid in the 70’s or 80’s living in the NJ/NY area, you know the true meaning of Thanksgiving. It wasn’t about family. It wasn’t about turkey. It was all about watching King Kong, Son of Kong, and Mighty Joe Young on WOR-9 NY, channel 9’s Holiday Movie Festival. Or the miscellaneous Godzilla movies they showed all weekend like King Kong vs Godzilla, Godzilla vs Megalon, and Godzilla vs the Smog Monster (Save the Earth! Man that was a catchy theme song.) Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Godzilla, King Kong, Thanksgiving, Toastmaster
13 Comments »
Our own Toe Fu’s making a name for himself over at the-minusworld.com. He just scored a great interview with 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander. Check it out HERE and make sure you post a comment for him over there while you’re at it.

Tags: Toe Fu
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EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5 werewolf sightings of all time.
1: The Howling

This is the mother of all modern werewolf movies. It is the first known appearance of the long eared dog footed werewolf. In the year 1980 terrifying commercials appeared across the country on late night television. These commercials were so frightening that two young children aged 6 and 4 are said to have refused to go upstairs into their apartment because they were afraid that monsters known as “howlings” were waiting for them up there. This film is EMT rated #1 for authenticity and for strict adherence to lycanthropic legend. It has what is considered to be the greatest of all werewolf transformations. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Toastmaster, werewolf
9 Comments »

I’ve just finished watching the pilot episode of Fringe of Fox. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who has Tivo’d it or is planning to watch the encore showing on Sunday night, so I’ll just give a quick impression. If I close my eyes real hard I can imagine a world where Fox has kept the X-files on air well beyond the days where T2 Robert Patrick took over for Mulder and into the Season 15 world where Pacey from Dawson Creek and some unknown blonde are saving the world with the help of their lunatic grandfather. I think I remember something about Pacey being brought onto the show sometime in late 2002 during the controversial X-files / Dawson Creek Crossover. Also I’m guessing they defeated the aliens around season 8 because nobody said anything about them. Chris Carter has handed the show reigns over to JJ Abrams of Lost fame. JJ has an expertise in loud violin sounds at the exciting parts and a firm belief that every new series should begin with an airplane disaster.
The show wasn’t bad. I’ll give it a chance. The things I liked about it are: disintegrating people, lady with robot arm, communicating with the dead, resurrecting the dead in future episodes (zombies here we come!!), scientists who know all kinds of occult magic, one good explosion, killing a man with a pillow, Pacey roughing a guy up Dawson creek style, car chase, car flip, and several characters with extremely scary eyes.
Tags: Fringe, serious faces, Toastmaster
9 Comments »
This season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles started off with a bang. It really did, and you have to love a show that gives you what you want. Hot girl killer robots, ‘splosions, aging female rock stars, flipped cars, and stapled faces. It was one of my favorite shows last season topping Lost and Heroes and it looks like the trend is going to continue.
I’m still shocked at how Brian Austen Green has somehow transformed into a tough guy. From his very annoying role on 90210 in the 90′s you’d think was impossible, but he managed to pull it together.
The kid who plays John Connor seems to be toughening up a little bit too this season. I hope he does because he can get annoying with all the whining. You can’t save humanity if you’re crying all the time.
The hot girl robot from Firefly got really beat up last season and they didn’t fix her looks. Her face is all bashed open and she even staples her cheek shut at one point. I hope they repair her somehow because the show really benefits from the eye candy. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: baby jake, HDTV, Terminator, Toastmaster
6 Comments »

So after several years of not having cable and not really watching tv, I am back in the game. One of the best parts of having cable is that you can just sit around doing nothing but watch tv until 3 or 4 in the morning even though you have to work the next day. Channels like TLC and Discover Channel encourage this with huge blocks of the same show starting late at night. A few nights ago I got sucked into a marathon of Jon & Kate Plus 8 which I imagine is known to it’s fans at JKP8DC. Oh wait those children aren’t disabled. See that’s what drew me in. I saw all these downs syndrome kids and though, “how do they take care of all 8 of them? Man this is gonna be good.” Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Jon & Kate Plus 8, kids, Toastmaster
8 Comments »
My girlfriend was just looking at the site and mentioned that hello kitty has a cartoon about fucked up toast. I can never resist a google search. With her help and a few well placed clicks I was able to find Kogepan. I love it.
Tags: fucked up toast, Sanrio, toast, Toastmaster
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