EMToast contributor Toe Fu has taken on an ambitious photo project for video game shirt company Meat Bun. He’s got people modeling the t-shirts in dilapidated old abandoned buildings.  One of the models most probably got tetanus from stepping on a rusty nail.  A couple of the other ones have permanent lung damage from breathing in asbestos. How does Toe Fue convince them to do it? Check the gallery and maybe you’ll find out.  The kid’s got talent. WARNING there may be raccoons in the walls.

Toe Fu says “I recently shot the lookbook for video game t-shirt company Meat Bun. The lineup includes fresh takes on classics like Forgotten Worlds, Mega Man, Metroid, and Pinbot.”

http://meatbun.us/clothing/the-year-20xx/

Scribblenauts is the newest and most addictive DS game to hit the streets. I threw all my other games out as they are now obsolete.

Please vote to tell us:

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The year-1964. The location-Madrid, Spain. Esteemed scientist Juan Flamingo had 2 passions in life – woman and boxing. Unfortunately he also suffered from two interest obliterating afflictions – chronic erectile dysfunction and a mortal fear of a gloved fist caving in his face. Not content to let the loves of his life go unrequited, the troubled test tube technician set to work on scratching his womanizing and mitted fisticuffs adoration itch.

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Rancho Cucamonga, CA – While browsing the internet during study hall one fall afternoon, high school hurdle hopper Harold Hamstrung came across a website dedicated to video game speed runs. Taking great pride in defending his state champion track team, The Cucamonga Crotch Crickets, the teen star sprinter immediately set out to best those records of digital deftness. Henry chose to best the time of 9 minutes 15 seconds in Super Mario Bros 2 under the assumption if he could run a 4 minute mile he would have to exert minimum effort to crush the record. Unfortunately, having spent his formative years running in circles, he had never even held a game controller and no amount of team spirit could motivate Mario to do anything but jump in place. Believing that winners never quit, Henry was found in his room 14 days later still on level 1-1 and suffering from severe leg atrophy. Ironically enough will now spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair with all the time in the world to get his game on.

Artwork adapted from Zombie Mario Tee available HERE

By me. This is one of those videos that you just keep coming back to year after year after year.  I’ve been watching it since 1992 when youtube was first invented and you could only access it if you were  a scientist.  Well I was a scientist back then and I would pay 22 dollars a week for my service but all I would watch was creature racing and I could even play it except everything was in green.

“I like books about animals.  Those other books are boring to me.  This one book is called creature racing. ”

“I’m not some dumb animal creature like you read in your books.”

I wrote this tirade on this game tape a few months back and it was just lingering in Word Press purgatory. Here is a review of a many months old game that no one really cared about. Including myself.

Damn Red Octane! You’ve got your target market on lock.  I mean, it’s not like the youth of today listen to Hot Topic Presents-Goth Jams 6 or care about the latest Lil’ Mama dance craze song about menstrual cramps. They obviously want to rapidly tap rainbow hued buttons along to a band that was popular when their Dad’s were still hiding under their bunk bed and fanning one out to a centerfold of Cloris Leachman. The developers of Guitar Hero have their finger on the pulse of the gaming demographic and that heart beats Aerosmith!

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Subject: Dr. Light.

Esteemed roboticist Dr. Thomas Light has long been under saucy scrutiny for his near obsessive creations of moppet machines and automatous adolescents. Light’s first foray into puerile android companionship resulted in the construction of Proto-Man. Outfitted with a dashing scarf and fanciful red and grey outfit to-die-for, Light became quickly infatuated. Light’s incessant advances and perverse handling proved too much for even the Proto-Shield to deflect and Proto-Man soon went rogue and disappeared. Read the rest of this entry »

Go check out Toe Fu’s interview with chiptune artist 8-Bit Weapon over at the-minusworld.com

Plug In, Turn On, Blip Out: An Interview with 8 Bit Weapon

To prepare for the upcoming Halloween celebrations, EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 10 Zombie sightings of all time.

1. Night of the Living Dead (1968 Film)

This movie is best watched on a worn out 1980′s VHS video tape purchased from a Jamesway bargain bin.  Make sure to get the one that includes the movie Reefer Madness.

This film is the origin of all modern zombie movies.  If you claim to be a zombie lover and you haven’t seen this film, don’t tell anyone you just lost all your zombie street cred.

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Our own Toe Fu’s making a name for himself over at the-minusworld.com. He just scored a great interview with 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander. Check it out HERE and make sure you post a comment for him over there while you’re at it.

There was a point in time that I was a total wrestling junkie. I can admit this with no shame in my game because it was in the early 90’s and around the same time I was also wearing a Napalm Death t-shirt and masturbating to a pre-self inflicted headshot splattered Savannah. I remember an instance when I was reenacting moves with my younger brother, who was probably around 8 years old at the time. For some reason, all logic escaped my brain and I delivered a pretty solid back-breaker to him. The exact moment his pre-teen spine connected with my bony knee I knew I done fucked up. I stared in horror as he lay on the carpet motionless and sobbing gently. Holy shit, I paralyzed my baby brother. Read the rest of this entry »

EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5 werewolf sightings of all time.

1: The Howling

This is the mother of all modern werewolf movies.  It is the first known appearance of the long eared dog footed werewolf.  In the year 1980 terrifying commercials appeared across the country on late night television.  These commercials were so frightening that two young children aged 6 and 4 are said to have refused to go upstairs into their apartment because they were afraid that monsters known as “howlings” were waiting for them up there.  This film is EMT rated #1 for authenticity and for strict adherence to lycanthropic legend. It has what is considered to be the greatest of all werewolf transformations. Read the rest of this entry »